How It's Going sleep in

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

Ahhh. Seriously.

Of course, then I have rioters practice—

Suicide Substitutes

I. 5 toe touches 30 JUKES 5 star touches 45 FORTY-FIVES

II. 5 toe touches 15 JUMP KNEES TO CHEST 5 star touches 45 FORTY-FIVES

III. 5 toe touches 30 JACKS 5 star touches 45 FORTY-FIVES

IV. 5 toe touches 15 JUMP HEELS TO BUTT 5 star touches 45 FORTY-FIVES

All sequences Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Alternately do jukes/jacks for 1 min, jumps for 30 sec, forty-fives for 1-1/2 min.

How It's Going suicides

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

So pretty much right off the bat I had to scale back my plans for suicides from 4x to 2x a week, because of adding the Saturday early morning speed practice and because I probably was never going to do Sunday morning suicides and then do more suicides at Sunday rioters practice. But you know, aim high and adjust. Is my motto.

Adding the Saturday early morning speed practice also put paid to my Saturday morning three-mile run, which I think I so need. So for a minute I thought I would do suicides 2x a week, right, at six in the morning, and then run at least a mile afterward. And then the next minute, it snowed. Which is a thing that happens in winter. You gotta love a subconscious that allows you to want to do suicides and run afterward at six in the morning. When it's a pretty safe bet that you're not gonna have to cash that check—

Clever girl.

Suicides

The hardest thing about this is getting out of the house when it's twenty degrees, but tell yourself this: it'll be over quick. It's, like, ten really intense minutes of exercise. Getting dressed to go out in the freezing cold actually takes longer than the actual exercise, um, in the freezing cold.

I layer up:

• sport bra, leggings, socks
• t-shirt, running pants
• hoody, sweatpants
• hat, neckwarmer, gloves

Jog halfway around the block to the schoolyard, where I do:

• Forward/backward suicides 5x
• Forward/backward cooldown 1x
• Side/side suicides 5x
• Side/side cooldown 1x

Then I run the rest of the way around the block back home.

These will not be happening, of course not, if it's snowing or raining, or if there's snow on the ground, or ice. As in, not last week at all. In which case I have suicide substitutes...

Work up to two sequences Tuesday and Thursday.

How It's Going stretches

Not last and not least (more TK!), STRETCH, seriously, STRETCH EVERY NIGHT. I guess when I say seriously stretch every night, I get that Sunday nights you fall asleep watching television at nine-thirty and have to be wheeled to bed in a wheelbarrow; that happens. But seriously stretch every night is the standard I have in mind. And if you're too sick or tired to do sunrises, or if you flipped over sledding with your nephew and niece and smushed your neck a little bit, you can still stretch, yes, you can stretch twice in a single day!

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

I believe a lot of hoodoo about stretching, with nothing like science to back it up. In no particular order:

• It's not just nice, it's necessary for building muscle.
• Which I picture like pulling taffy: you fold it over itself, and then you pull it, and then you fold it and pull it again...
• I actually don't know how to pull taffy.
• It keeps you from getting stiff and sore.
• It works out the lactic acid.
• Though I think the lactic acid thing is mostly a myth.
• This has to be true: it develops flexibility.
• And flexibility in motion is agility. (I made that up. Doesn't mean it isn't true.)
• It develops body awareness, which makes you better at learning new moves.
• It doesn't hurt, anyway.
• And it does feel nice.
• It's an easy good habit to get into.
• Getting into an easy good habit gets you in the habit of getting into good habits.
• So you can get into harder good habits.
• It's, like, a gateway good habit.

Who am I kidding, that was totally in order—

How It's Going pastime

This is also good:

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

...and the more everything changes, the more Choppers night stays the same. It is the real right time of the week. Friday is turning into Taco Burrito Express night, there's just not a lot of partying you can do when you're getting up the next morning at 5:00 AM for speed practice; but you know, call me if there's fun afoot. And Saturday night is wide open for MOAR PARTIES and DANCING. THIS IS MY NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION.

How It's Going hobby

This is good:

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

...this is what it's all for. I mean, I guess you might think that it's all for skating. I guess in my head, right now, skating is something that I have to do. Not like I have to do chores, more like I have to breathe. That probably sounds precious, but a) it feels true to me, and b) skating like breathing insofar as it's necessary, and it's like breathing insofar as I take it a little bit for granted. Whereas I'm not sure about writing, whether it's something I'm going to have time for.

It's not that I can't make time for writing, you can make time for anything that's important to you. That's what I'm saying, skating right now is that important to me & I'm making time for that; and by "make time," I mean find time. As everybody knows from Lost, you can't make time. You can find time & there's a limited amount of time that you can find. I'm not sure that's what they're saying on Lost. I'm not sure what they're saying on Lost, period. What I'm saying is. You find the time for skating, and you're not sure how much is left for everything else & it might not be enough.

But this is a good amount, I'm happy with this. I should acknowledge that this will mostly be made possible by waking up at 5:00 AM on Saturday mornings for Fleetwood speed practice & not really feeling the need to run after that.

Right now, I'm still in talk to the pear mode & just doing what seems to need doing: writing for this blog, designing a screensaver that's supposed to keep me on task when I'm at work, printing my name on the back of my practice shirts. It's random, and it's enjoyable & the latter probably has to do with the former, and is another counterpoint to how skating feels. Which is why I'm not pushing to get back to the time travel screenplay. If I randomly fall into writing that, then great. You can't push for everything and everything's not going to fall in your lap, but you're living the right life if you can get a little of both in—

How It's Going knock knock

Crap.

Good news, bad news... who knows.

You know that story, right? The farmer's horse runs away, and then it comes back with some wild horses, and then the farmer's son breaks his leg trying to tame the wild horses, and then army doesn't take him because his leg is broken. And through all this the farmer just keeps saying, "Good news, bad news... who knows."

You think I'm talking about not being drafted. Ha, I wish. Oh and, my leg is not broken.

Right before Thanksgiving, my sister's friend saw a story on the news about a clinical trial for a genetic mutation of the type of the lung cancer that my sister has. A few weeks later, my sister was flying to Boston to be tested; there was just a thirty percent chance that she would test positive for the mutation, and she tested positive. It was agreed that she would continue with her current therapy as long as it kept working, and then she would have this clinical trial.

Oh my god, you're talking about cancer? You're juxtaposing the draft to your sister's cancer?

Man, I didn't do it. I was cool with the draft. I just got home and there was this email—

That's mean, Poppy. Go back to talking about your weird charts!

So the current therapy is not working. The cancer is, apparently, bad. But. The current therapy not working was the necessary condition for her getting to get in the clinical trial. On the news they said that in the trials the cancer was melting away from patients even more advanced than my sister.

Good news. Bad news. Who knows.

It's a great philosophy, but I'm sick of it—

How It's Going skate practices

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING sleep in	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING Fleetwood Speed
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

Plus ça change!

So the thing about the opera with the bagels is, it's the drama that gets you. Where "opera" is, like, über-drama. In basic storytelling terms, just thinking dare I eat a bagel opens the door to a question: is the bagel going to be eaten or not eaten? Which is rarely resolved until the bagel is eaten, since the possibility of the bagel being eaten remains open as long as the bagel is uneaten. Whereas as soon as the bagel is eaten, the story ends. This is hugely what you're struggling against when you're trying not to eat that bagel, your hardwired sense of narrative.

And actually belatedly I realize that this was going on when pit crew broached the idea to me of jumping out of a plane, and I instantly shrieked STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP. But it was too late, the door had already been opened; and though I am really, really, really terrified of falling, I found myself in a Cessna 182 pretty much willing to die before I was going to act afraid in front of his skydiving friends and appreciating the irony of that I might actually die because I wasn't going to act afraid.

Before I forget: the thing you're supposed to do about the bagel is, just decide that you're not going to eat the bagel. You know, the way some people can just decide that they're not going to jump out of a plane.

I am, perhaps, just weak-minded.

But I'm a writer, I'm supposed to have a strong sense of narrative!

But anyway, I'm supposed to be talking about how skate practices are going & how it's going is, I've been fretting for a few months about adding a fifth practice & the only way that was going to end was, well, you know—

Good Night Stretches...

Hold all stretches for 10 seconds or longer:

Standing:
forward bend
forward bend, right foot crossed over left
forward bend, left foot crossed over right

Step into:
pigeon with right leg folded
...add left quad stretch
pigeon with left leg folded
...add right quad stretch

Lie forward into:
britney with shoulder blade stretch

Lie back into:
single or double quad stretch

Sit up into:
c-curve

Lie back again into:
doll stretches
...right leg up
...right ankle over left knee
...right knee over left knee
...spinal twist to the left
...left leg up
...left ankle over right knee
...left knee over right knee
...spinal twist to the right

Sit up again into:
split leg stretches
...right side over right leg
...right front over right leg
...left side over left leg
...left front over left leg
...front over center
butterfly stretch
arm stretches
...right arm across chest
...left arm across chest
...right arm over shoulder
...left arm over shoulder
...arms clasped behind back
...arms clasped in front and overhead

Entire sequence, every night before bed.

How It's Going sunrises

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	PLAY run
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

All right, so, I have scheduled exercise every morning of the week & I will tell you right now that I have not yet exercised every morning of any week, and I'm okay with that. I mean if I need sleep, I sleep. But if I'm up and it feels too cold to move around, wah wah, I'll give you something to be warm about. Remember when I was talking about learned patterns and the opera with the bagels, and learning a better opera? This is a better opera, you're cold and you unroll your mat & in a minute you're as warm as toast; and then at rioters practice, Juanna makes us do eighteen million squats and you don't die. But on the other hand, I'm sick again after just having been sick & it might be because I'm overworked. So I'm still testing what's actually doable. Like if I schedule Good Morning Sunrises 4x a week, I'm only going to do it twice probably & if I schedule it 3x a week, I might actually do it the three times. It's a good, hard program & I will teach it to you, if you ask—

How It's Going review & plan

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides	MORNING sunrises	MORNING suicides
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	PLAY run
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

As it happens, B emailed just as I was putting the finishing touches on this latest chart for my life. "Chart for my life," by the way, comes from Joe, who is from London, so it is actually pronounced chaaht for mah loife. She wanted me to tell her a little bit about my systems, which was like... I'm trying to think of an example of a nerd being asked to talk about his nerdiness, and I'm only coming up with examples of myself; so nevermind. But that got me started & the below is basically what I told her, only with capitals and without swears.

But oh, the reason I don't usually talk about this. Is because I never want to tell people what to do. I'll tell you how I do, alla Poppy, but what you do with that is up to you. Partly because I am really deeply a constructivist, and partly because I really don't ...care, and I mean that in the nicest Buddhist detached sense. But like the worst thing in the world is when you mention that you do morning pages pretty religiously, and then people start confessing their morning pages fails to you. I don't know what to tell you, you either do them or you don't & everything else is just drama.

That said, the first principle is that the system is always evolving. Stuff changes all the time, so you can't have the expectation that you're going to set a schedule once and be done; like see, I've already made changes to my morning exercise schedule (more TK!) So you sort of have to commit at the outset that to continually work your system, which means actually setting aside x amount of time for this activity. And for me that's about an afternoon per week to set myself up for the week ahead, as highlighted.

Related to the first principle, you must not beat yourself up for not adhering perfectly to schedule. That's not what the schedule is for, the schedule is just a standard to keep in mind. With practice and as you learn more about what works for you, you can mold yourself reasonably close to standard. In the early stages, being way off standard often says more about setting your standards too high. That's a much worse problem than, say, procrastination. It probably causes procrastination, because your subconscious pretty much knows how much you can get done & rebels if you give yourself too much work.

I have developed, seriously over years, a time grid that works for me. I plan on a weekly basis, and each day is broken into the following periods: 6-9am, 9am-12pm, 12pm-3pm, 3pm-6pm, 6pm-9pm, 9pm-12pm. The hours are just guidelines, it's not about beginning and ending precisely at 6pm and 9pm; it's more about the general flow from one period to the next period. What's more important is that I only plan one activity, or I should say class of activity per period. The basic classes are, as you know, WORK (my job, and also housework), PLAY (skating), HOBBY (writing, and also the aforementioned systems work), and PASTIME (just having fun like going out or watching television). Now I will say, what this makes you good at is deprioritizing and jettisoning stuff that're going to trip you up; but it makes you sort of bad at being able to squeeze in little jobs in fifteen minutes here and there.

I actually draw out a master grid & if I'm lucky, it stays good for a whole season. Lots of times it's only good for two weeks. Every week I draw a weekly grid in my notebook, with whatever's different for this week, e.g., last week instead of Monday MOD Skate and Tuesday USA Speed, I had Derby Lite Park District and my niece's choral concert at the mall, and this week I'm a little bit sick and would have skipped Tuesday speed if it wasn't already cancelled and am skipping Wednesday strength circuit and taking the opportunity to watch Xmas movies with —gasp— non-derby friends. So you see what I'm saying about not adhering. But I'm wandering and not lost, because I still have my eye on that standard & can jump back on track at Thursday speed.

Going over my schedule week after week is very much returning to my center, and then well-armed into the whirlwind of the week. It's hard to answer whether it's a lot of work. I mean it's three hours a week, every week, working on my work plan. I mean, who has time for that?? But in a way, thinking about it like that makes it feel more like a time out. Then it seems like a luxury, as nice as a bath. Now that I'm thinking, I think this is why it's classified as HOBBY. Which is work that is play, something that is done as a means to an end that is an end in itself.

And actually HOBBY is also writing, and in a way reviewing and planning is also a kind of writing or, better, a kind of storytelling. It's telling myself, over and over, the story of my life. It keeps me on the same page with my life, I think that might be my definition of sanity—

Avocado and Hummus Toast

I am finally OVER chex mix, because now I eat this as my afternoon snack. I should say that this very good on toasted bread or bagel, but I usually have eight seconds after I realize that I'm hungry and before I have a psychotic episode; so really usually I have avocado and hummus bread, which is also good.

2 slices good whole wheat bread or bagel, toasted
2 Tbsp hummus
1/2 avocado
lime juice
salt
pepper

Spread a tablespoon of hummus on each piece of bread, scoop the avocado on the hummus, and sprinkle with lime juice, salt, and pepper.

Per serving, 434 calories.

How It's Going an overview

So life as a rioter seems to be settling down into this:

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
MORNING x-squats	MORNING sunrises	MORNING x-squats	MORNING sunrises	MORNING x-squats	MORNING sunrises	MORNING x-squats
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	PLAY run or bike
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
HOBBY	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY MOD Skate	PLAY USA Speed	PLAY WCR Circuit	PLAY USA Speed	PASTIME	PASTIME
EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches	EVENING stretches

There's, like, a story for almost every box on this chart, well, the non-work boxes. So I will be milking this chart for all it's worth, to be continued...

Boot Surgery

The good news is, I finally got new winter boots:

• that are cute
• that are warm
• that fit my radish legs
• that were on sale

The bad news is:

• they leak

Why would you even make boots that leak, they're boots!

Still, the good news outweighs the bad. And there's Shoe Goo.

Good Morning Sunrises!

I. mountain pose reach up powerful pose 10 SQUATS forward bend look up walk the plank 10 TRICEP PUSHUPS chatarunga upward dog downward dog 10 WALK THE DOG lunge right foot forward warrior 1 warrior 2 reverse warrior return to mountain 10 MORNING RISES 10 CROSSOVER SQUATS Repeat, switching sides

II. mountain pose reach up powerful pose 10 SIDE SQUATS forward bend look up walk the plank 10 DOWN-UPS chatarunga upward dog downward dog 10 COUNT THE DOG lunge right foot forward warrior 1 warrior 2 reverse warrior return to mountain 10 MORNING RISES 10 CROSSUNDER SQUATS Repeat, switching sides

Both sequences Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings.

Oatmeal with Banana, Almonds, and Silk

Now that it's too cold to eat yogurt, this is my all-new vegan power breakfast that I eat at work. I keep the oats, sliced almonds, cinnamon sugar, and silk all at work, and every morning I pick out an exorbitantly-priced banana from the shop downstairs. I stole some measuring cups out of the kitchen, so I can measure the oats and almonds at my desk!

1/2 cup quick-cook oats
1 banana, sliced
1/8 cup sliced almonds
1/2 cup silk
cinnamon sugar

So right, you put the oats in a bowl and add enough hot water to cover. Let it sit for a minute or two, then stir it up. Add the banana, almonds, and silk, and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar.

Per serving, 445 calories give or take the cinnamon sugar.

T-Shirt Surgery: A Racerback Dress

 

For fuller instructions on measuring yourself and marking out an A-line dress, see T-Shirt Surgery: A Simple A-Line Dress. I still cut the front and back together and sew up the sides, as for an A-line dress...

...then I cut the racerback, which goes like this:

1. Draw two vertical lines a desired width apart down the center of the back.
2. Draw four parallel diagonal lines from the inside and outside shoulders to the center band.
3. Draw a horizontal line across the back from armpit to armpit.
4. Draw a little curve at the neck.
5. Draw curves from the horizontal armpit line to the diagonal shoulder line on both sides.
6. Cut out the racerback as drawn.

Just don't get freaked out about the curves. It's all straight lines, and the curves are just to round out the angles.

With Friends Like These Who Needs Marines

So Saturday afternoon Pom is all like, Let's do a hundred pushups yeah! and since doing the tiny tricep pushups with Busty for six weeks, my pushups are pretty good. Suddenly in the middle of the six weeks, I could drop and do ten full pushups pretty much no problem; and now I can do twenty.

So I drop and do twenty, and then I go to a games party with Zombea and Shannana & I find out when I get home that she meant a hundred pushups today. Man, I could have spaced them out & done them. But anyway I drop and do thirty, knowing that I'm sure gonna get a ton of pushups in at rioters practice tomorrow.

I'm driving home from practice when Pom texts: Pushups! We are at 72 at speed practice for today. Catch up!

I text back, Done baby! Fifty yesterday, twenty when I woke up, thirty at practice!

Pom texts back: No. Today! We started over! :)

Oh, she meant a hundred pushups every day.

I am stubborn. And I am proud. And I am not going to count today's fifty for yesterday towards today's hundred. I drop and do twenty.

I text back, 20...

ETA: Pom would like to clarify that 100 pushups every other day would actually be safer and more productive.

Not-Too-Sweet Date Walnut Oatmeal Cookies

This is basically the Quaker Oats oatmeal cookie recipe, veganized and with the sugar reduced by half. Because of my crazy blood sugar I've mostly lost my taste for sweets, so this may not be sweet enough for a normal person. Though my tasters thought they were okay, and because they're not so sweet you sort of feel like you can eat a lot of them. Ha, um. Also because they don't have so much sugar, these cookies don't spread when they bake and keep a nice shape; so if I wanted to add a little sweet to these cookies, I'd be more inclined to ice them.

1/2 lb "butter"
1/2 cup molasses
1/4 cup sugar
2 Tbsp flaxseed, ground and mixed with 6 Tbsp water
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp salt
3 cups oats
1 cup chopped dates
1 cup chopped walnuts

Heat oven to 350 degrees.

Mix together butter, molasses, and sugar until creamy. Oh and I just happened to use molasses and sugar because I was out of brown sugar, you could also just use 3/4 cup brown sugar. Mix in flaxseed and vanilla. Combine dry ingredients and mix into wet ingredients. Mix in dates and walnuts.

Drop by spoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet, and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until browned.

What Needs Doing going to philadelphia in my mind

Preview of The Marines Corps Physical Fitness Test Until There's Snow on the Ground

So this is my bye week. Then after I get back from nationals and until there's snow on the ground, I'm going to be adding speed practices and, off skates, testing myself against the Marine Corp Physical Fitness Test:

	minimum	perfect
flexed arm hang	15 secconds	70 seconds
crunches	50 in 2 minutes	100 in 2 minutes
three mile run	30 minutes	21 minutes

Though I might switch out the flexed arm hang for pushups, say, minimum 5 in one minute, perfect 10 in one minute? Is that a good number of pushups?

ETA: I am informed by Shannanigan that pushups are part of the Army Physical Fitness Test, so, what, 19 pushups in two minutes minimum, 42 for perfect?

How It Went but seriously i got better

So then I went on my run, I run Saturday morning now. And I think I have to run harder, which sucks. When I say that it sucks that running three miles in half-mile bursts ain't no thing to me anymore, I mean that it doesn't suck. I mean, I used to not be able to run a block to catch the bus. But man's reach must exceed his grasp, or what's a workout for.

The rest of the weekend was fine: cleaned the house a bit after my run, then to Shannana's to make screens for clam and squid t-shirt designs. It's not what you think! Rioters practice Sunday morning, I switched my wheels back to D-Rods with Flat-Outs as pushers and that was pretty good. I caught a break because Derby Lite practice was cancelled; so I could take a lovely shower, and then to Karma's for her lovely housewarming with lovely cupcakes. And then a post housewarming sugar crash, and then Choppers and TV on the chaise.

Tons of things to get done this week before NATIONALS and then a little break, which truthfully I need.

How It Went okay i guess

Weekend practices at 10:00 AM are so civilized. You can sleep in until eight, unless you haven't been sleeping well and wake up at 6:30 AM anyway, and you can start a nice tofu scramble breakfast, do the dishes, forget the potatoes on the stove until you smell them burning, burst into tears, and when pit crew tells you that it's okay, sob IT'S NOT OKAY NOTHING'S OKAY and feel sorry for yourself on the chaise while he hurriedly scoops the potatoes out of the pan. Then you get petted, and then you get up to make the rest of breakfast & the potatoes are actually just a little bit burned.

Ha ha, this story isn't going to get better than that—

A Month of Salutations and Squat Thrusts: TO FEENISH

What Needed Doing trepanning, perhaps

"Do you know why I'm always late lately?"

"Twelve-hour showers."

I stop racing around with the towel on my head. "Aw. You guessed it right off."

The other answer that he nicely hasn't said is, Facebook.

"Can I tell you why, anyway? It's because when I started waking up at eight, I'd be in a panic and only put conditioner on & just sort of rinse myself off. Now I have it in my head that I can wake up at eight and have time for a shower, like scrub everything." Nobody scrubs like a Korean, if you don't know.

I'm waking up at eight because I'm going to bed at midnight. I don't know why I don't go to bed at ten, if I need the sleep. Except that I do, going to bed at ten makes me feel like a loser. Like I ran out of fun. I need to be up until midnight doodling t-shirt designs (TK!) or sewing t-shirt dresses. Is this the dumbest reason for sleep deprivation there is—

French Silk Apple Bread Pudding with cashew cream sauce

1 one-pound loaf nice bread
2 cups plain silk (soy milk)
2 Tbsp sugar
1 tsp vanilla
4 apples
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
a couple tablespoons earth balance margarine
1 cup cashews
3/4 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp nutmeg

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Soak the cashews in a small bowl with enough cold water to cover them.

Trim the heels off the bread, then cut up the rest of the loaf into bite-sized cubes. Whisk the sugar and vanilla into the silk in a large bowl. Toss the bread cubes in the silk and let soak while you prep the apples.

Peel and cut up the apples into bite-sized chunks. Mix the sugar and cinnamon in a medium bowl and toss the apples in the mix.

Generously butter the bottom and sides of a 9" x 13" baking pan with earth balance margarine if you are making this for vegans, which I am. Arrange the apples evenly in the bottom of the dish, and then cover the apples with the soaked bread. Butter a sheet of aluminium foil and cover the dish, and bake covered for thirty minutes. Remove the foil and bake uncovered for ten more minutes, until lightly browned.

While the pudding is in the oven, drain the cashews and blend with water until totally smooth. Stir in vanilla and nutmeg.

To serve, ladle cashew cream over scoops of bread pudding.

Sometimes it's nice to take a break from counting calories. Though I don't think this is actually so bad.

Garlic Cider Vinegar Soup

Good soup for the sick, or to keep from getting sick—

1 Tbsp olive oil
all the cloves from a whole head of garlic, peeled and thinly sliced
salt
1 Tbsp Hungarian half-sharp paprika
1 Tbsp flour
1/2 cup cider vinegar
six cups stock or water
1 package frozen edamame, blanched and shelled
1 block extra-firm tofu, cubed

First, prep all ingredients as directed.

Heat oil in soup pot. Saute garlic with a bit of salt for a minute until just colored. Stir in paprika & saute for a few more minutes until toasted, then stir in flour and cider vinegar to make a smooth paste. Add stock or water and bring to a strong simmer. Add edamame and tofu and simmer until heated through, about five minutes.

You can eat this on its own, or over cellophane noodles or brown rice.

ETA: You know what would be really good in this soup, mushrooms. Thinly sliced, and sauteed along with the garlic with a tad bit more olive oil...

Per 1/2 recipe, 435 calories

How It Went evolved, has a plan

Bootcamp was cancelled, so I went on a run. I did all right, I haven't run regularly since two years ago & I can still run for a half-mile at a stretch. I did three miles, which handily enough is from my house to the Puerto Rican flag on Western and back, alternating a half-mile running with a quarter-mile walking. I applied last week's blocking lesson about keeping your tail tucked under to this run —I tend to tumble forward when I run— and I felt nice and solid. Boy though, my hip flexors are sore now.

If you want it in chart form, it looks like this. Yes I know, I am the only one who wants it in chart form. Get off my lawn.

SAT	SUN
PLAY run	PLAY WCR Rioters
WORK Cooking	WORK Cleaning
HOBBY photo shoot	PLAY Derby Lite
PASTIME All Hallow's Eve Early Supper	PASTIME Choppers ft. The Plan

My french silk upside-down apple bread pudding with cashew cream experiment was a success. Recipe TK!

And I have also perfected a mega-garlic soup recipe, sadly, because pit crew has been sick. Here he is, roused off the chaise and forced to pose for this picture. But it had to be memorialized, I had been looking forward to Having Halloweens Together for two years & and then found out that one of the things that you don't necessarily get cleared up via long distance is, he doesn't like dressing up. I don't know if it's worse for him being with a loose cannon like me, who randomly decides to be a shrimp for Halloween. But anyway, he is the website GodHatesShrimp.com. He had the t-shirt made and everything, and did get to wear it to last week's skating party; but on Halloween night, he stayed home and shaved his head.

Sunday morning Rioters practice, where I learned that Sugars really are too soft for skate court. I always have to find out for myself. At some point, I thought my wheels might be spinning backwards like when you're on a bus that's not moving and the bus next to you moves forward. Wait no, this was the bus stuck in the mud. Buses are my favorite metaphor, if you haven't noticed. Anyway, I will write more about wheels in a bit.

Between Rioters practice and Derby Lite practice, pit crew sawed down the little piece of wood that we put the speakers on for watching movies on his laptop. Our house is full of contraptions. I swept up the sawdust. "This counts as cleaning, right?"

So then I led Derby Lite practice, and I don't know if I can actually handle two Sunday practices or if I'm just butt stubborn. I told you how it is though, about that second shot of Bushmills. Earlier in the week, I was lying in the dark fretting how I could add in a fifth practice. Skating isn't my anti-drug, skating is my drug full stop.

Settled down in comfy clothes and under blankets for Choppers and the movie of the week, which was the Battlestar Galactica movie The Plan. Pretty much uncommunicative by the time the movie started, and dead asleep by eight-thirty.

Was Blind But Now I See

Oh hooray, my brown sock has been found!

What Needed Doing talk to the pear

Sometimes you can form the days of your life from the outside, like making pears grow into little Buddhas; you clamp a mold around Tuesday and Wednesday, and an outline for a time travel screenplay, amazingly, pops out. I wonder what the failure rate is for Buddha-shaped pears, though. There must be some runty pears that never fill out into full-figured Buddhas, and others that overflow into Jabba The Hut pears. Because life sure isn't a bowl of serenely smiling pears. Well. Possibly the reason for this is that life is nothing like a pear. But pretend that it is! Pretend that it's just like trying to grow Buddha-shaped pears, and sometimes the pears don't turn out. Because that's how my life is. Because inside, the pear has its own instructions. Sometimes you can stop telling the pear what to do, and take instructions from the pear for a change.

So Tuesday night, it was very important to go to Broken Cherry and buy a WCR onesie for Baby Ameneh and a patch for my backpack. And then to make asparagus and black bean pasta salad alla zombea, but with half as much pasta and twice as much beans. Then to catch up from the weekend: make the bed, sort the laundry, sweep the floors. Then to wash my face, important! Oh skin, I am sorry that I've been so busy and falling into bed exhausted without washing my face, please heal up these two horrible blemishes and I promise that I will wash and exfoliate with baking soda day and night, and get the ultra-calming moisturizer with sunscreen again, and the crazy expensive revitalift night cream for a just few more years with no wrinkles, please and thank you. Then to pay bills for the month, and then I couldn't go to bed without sewing on my new patch. Though I was so sleepy I sewed shut the pocket that I was sewing the patch on & had to do it over.

Wednesday night, the pear walked me to Nina to look at bootie patterns and baby yarn. But my brain just folded trying to read knit 1, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 1, make 1, knit 14, make 1, knit 1... I mean, I can knit. I know I could sit down and figure it out; but something's got to give, like Monday night I had no idea, none, where I had parked the car, it wasn't in its usual place across from Pulaski Park and I retraced my steps grimly telling myself that if I didn't find the car by the time I had walked back to the apartment, I wasn't going to Orbit that night; but it was across the street from the apartment.

Then home to talk morosely with pit crew in the dark about losing my mind:

"So can I tell you something crazy? Like I have two jobs to do over the weekend, which are really four jobs that I paired up to seem like two jobs: Laundry & Cleaning, and Grocery & Cooking. And I know, I haven't actually done the laundry for a year now." You know who does the laundry, I am a lucky duck. "I just can't stop sorting the laundry, which you don't need me to do. I just ...like sorting laundry." And this is not, like, sorting laundry into two piles of lights and darks, this is me making little piles of all socks and all underwear and all leggings and all t-shirts all around the kitchen floor, because everybody knows that the laundry has to be organized before it gets mixed up in the washing machine. "And I'm so busy, I actually haven't been sorting the laundry & it's not hurting the laundry, and I almost could let it go just now. But I can't, because I can't have one job be Cleaning and the other job be Grocery & Cooking."

"Can you have three jobs called Cleaning, Grocery, and Cooking?"

"NO. I can either do 'Laundry & Cleaning' and 'Grocery & Cooking' or 'Cleaning' and 'Cooking'."

Pit crew thinks about taking a bus back to New Jersey.

"And I also know, I haven't actually done the grocery shopping for a year now. I just make the grocery list. Which maybe you need me to do?"

"I think I can handle the grocery list."

"I can show you where it is on my computer."

"Email it to me. I'm going to change it."

The pear frowns a frowny pear frown. "How are you going to change it?"

"I'm going to make it into a database."

Not just the frown, the whole pear turns upside down. Squee.

So I get up and make vaguely mexican beans, then go back out to drop off my t-shirt form and money at the practice space. Back home to eat vaguely beans, process and post yesterday's salutations photo, and it's already eleven and I wanted to write this evening. Email the grocery list to pit crew. Write this post falling asleep in bed, which how the pear got all up in this—

A Month of Salutations and Squat Thrusts: Week Fourish

Brown Rice and Tofu Scramble To Go

This is an easy scramble to make for lunches when you've eaten up all your leftovers & have nothing for lunches. Or if you're back from practice and insane with starvation, it's nicer to eat than the gross tofu salad that was destined for the garbage.

2 cups medium-grain brown rice
3 cups water

Combine the rice and water in a pot and bring to a boil, then turn heat to very low and let simmer for about thirty minutes. I pretty much just forget about it until I remember; then I turn off the heat and let it rest overnight, which softens anything that got burned on the bottom.

1 package extra-firm tofu
1 Tbsp olive oil
5 green onions, finely chopped
1 Tbsp soy sauce

Heat oil in the pan over medium heat. Add green onion and saute lightly, about 2 minutes. Stir in soy sauce.

Break the tofu into eight pieces, squeezing each piece until it's about half its original thickness, then loosely crumble it into the frying pan. Stir to combine with the onion-soy mixture and cook until heated through, about five minutes.

Divide the tofu into two takealong containers, and the rice into six takealong containers. This gives you two brown rice and tofu lunches, and four more brown rice containers that are ready to eat.

To serve, I heat up the rice in the microwave & have the tofu cold mushed up with the rice. That just made it sound really yummy, didn't it—

Per serving, 431 calories

How It Went not everything got done, survived

Okay so, the weekend is supposed to go like this:

SAT	SUN
PLAY WCR Bootcamp	PLAY WCR Rioters
WORK Laundry & Cleaning	WORK Grocery & Cooking
HOBBY Review & Plan	PLAY Derby Lite
PASTIME	PASTIME Choppers

Bootcamp was cancelled, I remember thinking that now would be a good time to put up the plastic on the windows & then I don't know where the morning went. I made red flannel tofu scramble for lunch. I believe I got some cleaning done. Around three, we went to pick up Zombea to get her makeup done for the Halloween skating party at Orbit. Shrimp costume pics TK! Then after the skating party, we went with Shannanigan to see Paranormal Activity. I hardly ever do movie reviews, so I will just say that it was hella scary. And then I got nabbed for running a red light going home, which I'm still upset about. I'm also upset about having lost one of my new brown socks. Crap like that, to me, is like when the seams start to show in the Matrix, and then I start looking around for my blue pills.

Sunday was my second Rioters practice, and it was hella hard. Whoever said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger must have been talking about anaerobic training. From there I went straight to teach Derby Lite park district practice; and after that was done, the endorphins had kicked in and I was thinking, sure, I could go for another two hours of practice for six total straight hours. Nobody else thought this was a good idea. The tired hit me about two seconds into my drive home, I crawled on the chaise next to pit crew and told him how it all went in a low monotone. Then I got up and fixed some brown rice and tofu scramble to go, which is an easy scramble to make for lunches when you have nothing else; so, lunches got packed. Then pit crew went out and brought back Choppers, and we settled down to watch Natural Born Killers, which I had never seen, and I will just say that it wasn't what I expected.

So really it went like this:

SAT	SUN
PLAY ???	PLAY WCR Rioters
WORK Cleaning	PLAY Derby Lite PD
PASTIME Halloween Skating Party	WORK Grocery & Cooking
PASTIME Paranormal Activity	PASTIME Choppers ft. Natural Born Killers

Can catch up tomorrow night. Want to do more during the week than just catch up from the weekend.

The Gift of the Magi

So you know I have been making tofu six ways to Sunday the past month or so, and pit crew bellies up and says yum every single time. So when he cooks, I eat whatever he makes & he pretty much makes one thing, pasta with meat sauce. So every week, I belly up to pasta with meat sauce and say yum. But Wednesday I come home & I can see that it's not meat sauce on the stove. What is it? It is cellophane noodles with tofu, carrots, and red bell peppers in sweet and sour sauce! Like little perfect cubes of tofu dusted with cornstarch and fried till golden. I was like, how did you know how to do that? And he's like, I googled it—

Fall Back reculer pour mieux sauter

Everyone loves fall with its burst of colors and crisp weather, and who doesn't love fall clothes. I love fall, too, I do. It's just that I've had problems with fall, historically, and actually at first I didn't even know that fall was my problem, I thought my problem was winter...

because on the one hand, you have the seasons:

SPRING

SUMMER

FALL

WINTER

and on the other hand, you have the quarters:

JFM

AMJ

JAS

OND

This is the truth, I had it in my head through my late twenties that OND = winter and then would spend the first three months of the new year feeling flummoxed and betrayed that there were somehow three more months of winter. HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN EVERY DAMN YEAR.

James Taylor helped me with this. Now I sing "winter, spring, summer, and fall" to myself as a reminder.

Well you know, hate winter and the world hates winter with you. Hate fall, and you hate alone. But I don't, I don't hate fall. I just have a problem with fall. Which is like being the person who has a problem with Labrador retrievers. Which I don't! Have a problem with Labrador retrievers!

But the truth of the matter is, I get visibly frayed going into Thanksgiving and fall apart in earnest around Christmas; but then Monday after New Years Day, I'm all right again. It's been six or seven years running like this, I'm just saying. And it's starting already this year; it's like how Target keeps putting out the Christmas things earlier and earlier every year, I guess head elf just wants to get a jump on hanging up the crazy.

Okay but, I know what it is. It's the holidays, stupid. (Not you.) And it's started earlier the past few years because I actually started to do Halloween. So far I have been a mummy and a s'more, and this year I'm going to be a shrimp if it all works out & if not I'm going to be Poppy Herman, more about that in a minute. So there's just more to do at the end of the year, and this year is busier than ever.

It's like when Laura Ingalls was pocketing pebbles on the shore of Lake Pepin, and the pocket tore out of her dress. Only dude, the pocket tears out of your mind. Well now, that's food for thought. There probably is something good about trying to pick up as much as you possibly can, man's reach should exceed his grasp or what's a heaven for. Also there's probably something not totally bad about getting the pocket torn out of your mind, at least a few times in your life.

Okay, but. Seriously. People have to live with you. Not that people weren't living with you before, but look how that turned out.

Pick your pebbles, Munt.

SUN	MON	TUE	WED	THU	FRI	SAT
PLAY WCR Rioters	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	PLAY WCR Bootcamp
WORK Grocery & Cooking	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Laundry & Cleaning
PLAY Derby Lite	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	WORK Office	HOBBY Review & Plan
PASTIME Choppers	PLAY WCR Yoga / MOD Skate	do what	needs doing	PLAY WCR Speed / Derby Lite	PASTIME	PASTIME

Tuesday night what needed doing was, well first, to lie down in bed for a little while, talking to pit crew in the dark. It's just nice to be horizontal and awake, as opposed to being horizontal and asleep or, you know, horizontal and being horizontal. Also geez when pit crew lived in New Jersey, we had twice-a-week phone dates & we thought we'd have so much more time together when he moved here, but look at the schedule! And when we aren't busy and just hanging out, we're with friends or watching TV together, which is like whoa and great, but anyway, talking in the dark is like our old phone dates, except that we can hold hands. Okay anyway, then what needed doing was to make an insanely hot garlic and ginger soup because he has a cold. Recipe TK, totally vegan! And then, I absolutely had to start on my shrimp costume. About which I will only say for now, I set a land speed record for lowering my expectations.

Wednesday night it was talking in the dark, and then making creamed broccoli soup. And we are now out of butter! Earth Balance margarine, ahoy. And sending pit crew out for ping pong balls and pink bendy straws. And having a quiet moment to write by myself; that needs doing sometimes, too. And eating the Hostess fruit pie that he came back with. And thinking how to do without the ping pong balls, which he reported back that Kmart only had in a bucket of 32. Laundry to be folded, eyeballs and antennae and extra little arms to be fabricated—

A Month of Salutations and Squat Thrusts: Week Threeish

It really works to set a time limit on an exercise initiative, I am flagging because I actually am getting a lot of extra exercise in WCR practices and not in my usual underachiever style. And then I look at my calendar and think, it's only two weeks to go... don't lame out now... and it's not like it's gonna hurt to stretch... actually, it does...

Orange Calico Tofu Scramble

For the calico:
1 potato, scrubbed
1 sweet potato, scrubbed
2 Tbsp olive oil

Something-something:
1/2 red bell pepper, diced

Microwave the potatoes for three minutes, then dice them; you don't even have to peel the sweet potato. Heat oil in a saute pan over medium-high heat, then add potatoes and beets to the pan. Toss to coat, then cover and cook for 10-15 minutes. Uncover, add the red pepper and toss again, and cook for another 10-15 minutes until browned. Put the calico on a plate and keep warm.

For the tofu:
1 package extra-firm tofu
1 Tbsp olive oil

Still have some green onions left:
5 green onions, finely chopped
1 Tbsp soy sauce

Heat oil in the pan over medium heat. Add green onion and saute lightly, about 2 minutes. Stir in soy sauce.

Break the tofu into eight pieces, squeezing each piece until it's about half its original thickness, then loosely crumble it into the frying pan. Stir to combine with the onion-soy mixture and cook until heated through, about five minutes.

Per 1/2 recipe, 464 calories

Underachiever Chex Mix

I've been spending a fortune on chex mix from the shop downstairs, which I can't really afford. But also I can't be buttering my own chex mix every weekend, it's just not going to happen. Just like my gear isn't going to get washed if I can't throw it into the washing machine, and nobody wants that. And also I can't make myself eat an apple for my afternoon snack, I tried all last week and DO NOT WANT. Want something salty and crunchy that I can wash down with a Diet Coke.

So basically, I just throw a handful of each of the following into a bunch of containers. It's chex, it's mixed, what more do you want—

1/4 cup wheat chex
1/4 cup corn chex
1/4 cup mixed nuts
eight or so sourdough nibblers

Per serving, 313 calories

Derby Mezuzah

Survey Says

1. Favorite non-dairy milk?
Plain silk. Very vanilla silk and chocolate silk are very good frozen into popsicles, too.

2. What are the top 3 dishes/recipes you are planning to cook?
French silk apple upside-down bread pudding with cashew cream (this started out as french silk toast and now has a life of its own, and its own post office box, and is learning how to drive the car), tofu scramble alla Helsa, stewed green beans with seitan in my crock pot.

3. Topping of choice for popcorn?
Salt and pepper.

4. Most disastrous recipe/meal failure?
When I tried adding peanut butter to ramen noodles? Also lately I have been making everything too hot.

5. Favorite pickled item?
Kimchee!

6. How do you organize your recipes?
As Christopher Wren said, circumspicere.

7. Compost, trash, or garbage disposal?
Trash elf.

8. If you were stranded on an island and could only bring 3 foods…what would they be (don’t worry about how you’ll cook them)?
Rice, tofu, and kimchee.

[ETA: I answered this question very seriously: rice for carbs, tofu for protein, and kimchee to keep me from getting scurvy & also kimchee goes with the rice and the tofu. I just realized, though, that these are the exact three answers that my dad would have given. Yiiiii. I really am turning into my dad, just like in District 9 aaah.]

9. Fondest food memory from your childhood?
Spreading peanut butter on one slice of bread after another, teeth sinking into the peanut butter and the bread. No wait, that was last Tuesday—

10. Favorite vegan ice cream?
Frozen juice or silk popsicles.

11. Most loved kitchen appliance?
Can I say trash elf again?

12. Spice/herb you would die without?
If you've read King Lear, you know that the answer is salt!!

13. Cookbook you have owned for the longest time?
My Fannie Farmer cookbook, which was my first cookbook, and my mom's Betty Crocker cookbook. And I actually only own one other cookbook, The Cake Bible.

14. Favorite flavor of jam/jelly?
Bonne Maman cherry preserves.

15. Favorite vegan recipe to serve to an omni friend?
I got into vegan cooking for my vegan friends, you know? I have no plans for vegan world domination. Though I did bring this spicy black bean coconut soup from Girlie Girl Army to Pom's chili cookoff, and I made it so too hot. People were going around daring each other to try that number five, they sure weren't thinking about it being vegan—

16. Seitan, tofu, or tempeh?
I've only ever had tofu, but I'm going to try seitan soon.

17. Favorite meal to cook (or time of day to cook)?
Weekend breakfasts.

18. What is sitting on top of your refrigerator?
Unopened two-gallon container of water from last winter when the pipes froze, retired Brita pitcher, neverused Rubbermaid pitcher, salad spinner, seltzer siphon, paper towels, stray napkins from takeout orders.

19. Name 3 items in your freezer without looking.
Coffee, chicken parts, one or two popsicles.

20. What’s on your grocery list?
Coffee, plain silk, lowfat plain yogurt, sliced almonds, medium grain brown rice, extra-firm tofu, hummus, tortillas, apples, peanut butter, whole wheat bread.

21. Favorite Closest grocery store?
Jewel.

22. Name a recipe you’d love to veganize, but haven’t yet.
Well, I had replaced the meatless grounds in the original pasta alla Helsa recipe with ground turkey & now I'm about to take out the turkey and put in scrambled tofu instead. Ah, the circle of life.

23. Food blog you read the most (besides Isa’s because I know you check it everyday). Or maybe the top 3?
101 Cookbooks, Cake Wrecks, and I just added It Ain't Meat, Babe because just that cracks me up.

24. Favorite vegan candy/chocolate?
I really don't eat candy, too sweet!

25. Most extravagant food item purchased lately?
I seriously spend a fortune on bananas from the shop downstairs. Not very economical to buy bananas one at a time, but I only like perfectly yellow bananas. What. Brown bananas are gross!

26. Ingredients you are scared to work with?
What, you mean like fresh vegetables? I ain't scared, I'm just lazy differently prioritized.

A Month of Salutations and Squat Thrusts: Week Twoish

The long rays on the suns, by the way, represent squat thrusts, and the short rays represent tricep pushups. So we have a couple of happy but bald suns hanging out this week and also a skull and crossbones over on Sunday, what's that about?

Well, remember how I was talking about waiting for the elephant in the room to exhale? That's the elephant. That is to say, the skull and crossbones is the Windy City Rollers. Which Sunday I tried out for, and I am in!

After which I had a Derby Lite practice to lead later that afternoon; and so the suns are bald because I've been too sore for squat thrusts and tricep pushups, because pretty much only my head and my forearms didn't hurt after all that—

Red Flannel Tofu Scramble

For the potatoes:
1 potato, scrubbed
1 beet, scrubbed
2 Tbsp olive oil

And this time for the something-something I used:
beet greens, roughly chopped

Microwave the potato and the beet for three minutes, then dice the potato & peel and dice the beet. Heat oil in a saute pan over medium-high heat, then add potatoes and beets to the pan. Toss to coat, then cover and cook for 10-15 minutes. Uncover, add the beet greens and toss again, and cook for another 10-15 minutes until browned. Put the flannel on a plate and keep warm.

For the tofu:
1 package extra-firm tofu
1 Tbsp olive oil

Instead of the 1/2 onion I used:
5 green onions, finely chopped
1 Tbsp soy sauce

Heat oil in the pan over medium heat. Add green onion and saute lightly, about 2 minutes. Stir in soy sauce.

Break the tofu into eight pieces, squeezing each piece until it's about half its original thickness, then loosely crumble it into the frying pan. Stir to combine with the onion-soy mixture and cook until heated through, about five minutes.

Per 1/2 recipe, 403 calories

Vegan Until Dinner

I just read an interesting thing about Mark Bittman, whom I love: the man who's vegan until dinner. I did not know that. I wonder if I could be, like, the girl who's vegan in her own kitchen, except for yogurt, and except for whatever pit crew cooks on his kitchen night, and who still sometimes has meat and dairy when eating out, but is pretty much over eggs altogether.... What. Not as catchy? I'm liking being a part-time vegan, though. Naturally I would, I always said that if I had a religion it would be Cafeterian. In all things, I like to pick and choose. I like to negotiate complexities: animal rights, environmentalism, my own history of using food to assert control and the dangers of a full-blown eating disorder therein and is this "veganism" a trope of that, my crazy blood sugar doubled with skating being a high-intensity exercise, la la la.

It is not a joke that I need protein, and luckily my body does a pretty good job telling me what it needs & to give credit where credit's due, I do an okay job listening. Anyway I have been ideating about tofu the way a normal person wants cupcakes, and actually I had some oatmeal with dried fruit for breakfast & the dried fruit was too sweet to me. Really, I can't even have dried fruit? But I've been protein unbalanced, I haven't officially given up chicken but haven't been eating eggs or chicken. As it seems illogical to not eat eggs but to boldly go and eat chickens, except maybe as a concrete riposte to which came first, the chicken or the egg.

So I had speed practice the other night, and went to bed starving. And I couldn't sleep, because seriously my butt would not stop itching. I leaped out of bed around midnight and seized upon an apple, which I knew I did not want. Besides I am a horrible princess about apples & it wasn't crisp enough, it was supposed to be for french toast this weekend; I flung it into the trash. I grabbed a failed tofu salad experiment still in the fridge, frantically mushed it up in a bowl with some leftover rice, and practically ate it up with my face in the bowl. I may actually have been insane with hunger. I mean, I felt sanity return after I had eaten. And my butt stopped itching. Which makes me think, was my body trying to consume itself? Because my butt is the meatiest part on me...

Junky Styling: WANT

Though given that I woke up at 4:30 AM worrying about money, I should perhaps call a moratorium on that word.

Nevertheless. Junky Styling: Wardrobe Surgery

Ariadne Unbound

The funny thing is, I thought I knew what Ariadne's thread was, but just to be sure, I googled it —what on earth did we ever do without Google, or for that matter, Wikipedia, we had writer's block is what— and quick-skimmed named for the legend of Ariadne, is the term used to describe the solving of a problem with multiple apparent means right, that's what I thought, solving a problem all at once, and sailed on with my argument, because it fit with what I wanted to say about how you work all the threads at the same time, because who this character is gives you a clue about what this character will do, which is plot, and at the same time what happens in the plot drops hints about your characters, and all around the web like that.

Just so you know that I know, Ariadne is the one who gave Theseus the ball of thread to wind through Minotaur's maze, and Arachne is the one who had the spinning contest with Minerva and got turned into a spider:

	Ariadne	Arachne
thread	yes	yes
maze	yes	no
web	no	yes

But anyway, I actually got around to reading the rest of that sentence:

of proceeding - such as a physical maze, a logic puzzle, or an ethical dilemma - through an exhaustive application of logic to all available routes. It is the particular method used that is able to follow completely through to trace steps or take point by point a series of found truths in a contingent, ordered search that reaches a desired end position. This process can take the form of a mental record, a physical marking, or even a philosophical debate; it is the process itself that assumes the name.

...well, that's not what I meant at all. I've a good mind to edit this right now. No no, I won't. Remember that about Wikipedia, though. That I could.

In any case, it fits with this other thing that I want to say about writing it all down. Did I ever tell you that my dad used to count the microwave popcorn kernels that didn't pop & plot them on a graph? The ear doesn't fall far from the stalk, is all I'm saying. Not to be corny.

But anyway I wrote this all inadvertently, when I meant to write about whether I'm going to write this fall.

A Month of Salutations and Squat Thrusts: Week One-ish

1. Stand in mountain pose
2. Forward bend
3. Look up, flatten your back
4. Walk yourself out to a plank
5. Five half tricep pushups
6. Lower yourself down for chaturanga
7. Peel yourself up for upward dog
8. Curl your toes under for downward dog
9. Lunge your right foot between your hands
10. Warrior I
11. Warrior II
12. Back for the reverse
13. Warrior III
14. Cartwheel your hands down to the floor
15. Extend your right foot back and up
16. Lunge your right foot between your hands
17. Come up for tree pose

Repeat leading with your left foot.

Then, ten squat thrusts. Squat thrusts are also known as burpees. So much easier to do them after I've warmed up with salutations. I just can't jump around like that right out of bed.

Sorry about the lack of detailed instructions, in this and in general when I write about fitness. Writing instructions is hard! And really, you need pictures for yoga & I am not ready to have pictures of myself in a leotard on the internet. These are just cheat sheets, they sort of assume that you have a working knowledge of yoga and/or skating & if you don't, you probably want somebody to teach you in person—

Tofu and Potato Scramble

This is my new ultimate skating breakfast: potatoes for carbs, tofu for protein. They're really delicious together, who knew. I got the potato-nuking trick from Easy Breakfast Potatoes and the tofu-squishing trick from The Ultimate Scrambled Tofu.

For the potatoes:
2 potatoes, scrubbed
2 Tbsp olive oil
2 celery ribs, finely diced

But you could also use a little bit of whatever something-something you have on hand, like a bunch of parsley, chopped, or half a bell pepper, finely diced.

Microwave the potatoes for just three minutes, then dice them. Heat oil in a saute pan over medium-high heat, then add potatoes and celery to the pan. Toss to coat potatoes in oil, then cover and cook for 10-15 minutes. Uncover and toss again, adding any herbs at this point, and cook for another 10-15 minutes until browned.

You can do this in a separate pan from the tofu, but I have this awesome cast iron pan that nothing sticks to; so now I set the potatoes aside and use the same pan for the tofu. I suppose you could scramble it all together, but I feel like the tofu would get the potatoes wet at this point.

For the tofu:
1 package extra-firm tofu
1 Tbsp olive oil
1/2 onion, finely chopped
1 Tbsp soy sauce

Heat oil in the pan over medium heat. Add onion and saute until slightly carmelized, about 5-10 minutes. Stir in soy sauce.

Break the tofu into eight pieces, squeezing each piece until it's about half its original thickness, then loosely crumble it into the frying pan. Stir to combine with the onion-soy mixture and cook until heated through, about five minutes.

And now I put the potatoes back in the pan like in the picture, and let them heat back up for about five minutes before serving. Then I scramble the tofu and the potatoes together on my plate to eat them, but that's not as pretty and probably bad table manners—

Per 1/2 recipe, 554 calories