Monday, August 31, 2009

The Big Sleep: Saturday and Sunday, also Friday

20090831_tattooHow did I get to be forty-two years old, and I just discovered "weekends"?

The second best part of this weekend was getting up Saturday morning at eight thirty, eating breakfast, and going back to bed. Then getting up at ten thirty, and eating breakfast again. Plus I had done the meal plan and grocery list half-awake over my first breakfast, so it was like the meal plan elf had left me a grocery list.

The best part of this weekend was not getting up Sunday morning until ten thirty.

And this weekend included going to the WCR vs. Charm City bout! And sporting temporary tattoos, and drinking Shirley Temples! Who knew sleeping in was good enough to beat that.

What it makes me think is, it's impossible to describe yourself. Well actually, I don't think it's impossible. Or if I do, I'm not going to stop trying. But. I routinely unashamedly describe myself as lazy; but if I'm so lazy, how have I not discovered weekends and sleeping in until now?

It also reminds me of what Natalie Goldberg says in Writing Down The Bones:

One neat truth about writing cannot answer it all. There are many truths. To do writing practice means to deal ultimately with your whole life. If you receive instructions on how to set a broken bone in your ankle, you can't use those same instructions to fill a cavity in your teeth. You might read a section in this book that says to be very specific and precise. That's to help the ailment of abstract, general meandering in your writing. But then you read another chapter that says lose control, write on waves of emotion. That's to encourage you to really say deep down what you need to say.... Some techniques are appropriate at some times and some for other times. Every moment is different. Different things work. One isn't wrong and the other right.
Or alternately, what Meg says about how to know if a girl likes you, roughly: really think to yourself if you're the kind of guy who always thinks that girls are into you or who never thinks that girls are into you, then push yourself a little bit toward being the other kind. You know, in whatever girl-guy-girl-girl combination works for you. Or obviously, in whatever combination not having to do with writing or guys or girls at all.

I also made chex mix this weekend. I got into chex mix in a bad way last week; but the fact is, I'd eat that bag of chex mix and calm right down & actually stop thinking about food. So I thought I'd just go with the flow, have a whiz-bang all-the-chex-mix-you-can-eat week and maybe I should mix my own chex like rolling your own cigarettes. But you know, homemade chex mix is about the same calories and about the same price as the handy four-serving bag, and by "four" I mean single. Maybe it's more nutritious? Because I used fancy organic chex and whole-grain pretzels. I will post the recipe in a minute.

But Munt, you must do everything that needs done over the weekend. Because if you don't push to get your lunches all the way packed for the week, you're going to be cutting up fruit when you're supposed to be writing during the week & that's no good.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

9.3.10

SUN 30 MON 31 TUE 1 WED 2 THU 3 FRI 4 SAT 5
MORNING
sleep

Zzzz
MORNING
sleep

shoot
MORNING
sleep

srsly...
MORNING
sleep

aagh
MORNING
sleep

-->
MORNING
crunch

-->
MORNING
sleep

-->
  The Art of Fiction The Art of Fiction Man-Kzin XII Man-Kzin XII Man-Kzin I  
Frittata
PASTIME
Cleaning
Yog n Fru
Coffee & AW

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & AW

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & AW

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & AW

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & CCO

WORK
Office
Muesli n Yog
WORK
Grocery & Laundry
Tea & Toast
PASTIME
Review & Plan
Fr Sal
WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Crab
Gr Tea & Chex Mix

WORK
Office
Lloyds
WORK
Office
Pit Crew Frittata
WORK
Office
Pit Crew Frittata
WORK
Office
PB Sw
PASTIME
Girlchat
OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
DC
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
Kefir
PASTIME
Meg
  The Art of Fiction Man-Kzin XII Man-Kzin XII Man-Kzin XII
GLASSES ON
Man-Kzin I  
Choppers
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
Gr Sal w Crab
HOBBY
Alla Poppy
Missed Connections
Sultan's Market
PLAY
hair cut
Pit Crew Frittata
HOBBY
Missed Connections
Bread n Butter
PLAY
bake cookies
Alla Poppy
Misc
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
WCF
PASTIME
Outfit vs. DCDD
Popsicles
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
AW Popcorn
Popsicle

EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
 
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
Popsicles
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin I
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin I
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin I

Friday, August 28, 2009

I Got This: Monday and Thursday

Woah, I have a BIG skating break coming up; it totally crept up on me. I thought for some reason that Orbit's and Derby Lite's back-to-school breaks were going to be staggered, but they're the same two weeks. So just Sunday skate, no Monday or Thursday skates for the next two weeks.

What to do.

Get your hair cut. Do something about your eyebrows, for the love of God. Get some new socks. What I really needed for my outfit this morning (white shirt, jeans) was a pair of bright patterned socks that I could wear with my beat-up Mary Janes. It looks okay with my knee-high boots (black no-show socks), but lately I want that little pop of color. But I don't have any bright socks, I only started getting black socks —the no-show ones— this summer. Last summer I discovered white no-show socks (for skating, long socks give me blisters). Two summers ago I cut the toes off half of my white cotton crew socks to make arm gaskets (also for skating, obviously), and that still left me with two dozen pairs of white cotton crew socks.

What can I say: when I go in, I go all in.

And, this bus makes wide turns.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

I Got This: Tuesday and Wednesday

You know that you're living the right life when everything suddenly has to do with everything else. Like how Deleuze keeps having to do with Gardner.

Actually, you know that you're living the right life when you can take two nights to read a thirteen-page article on Gilles Deleuze. I'm a terrible reader, I'm terrible at slowing down enough to take in text of any length. I start fast and pick up speed until I can practically feel my eyeballs taking off from the page, like how you can feel your plane has left the ground. I guess what I've been doing these past two evenings, then, is driving my plane to my destination. RrrrrrrRRRrrrrr. Which is not what a plane is for, but whatever—

(I should confess, almost my favorite thing in the world is a metaphor that isn't. Like saying that something is like Rashomon, except that all the stories are the same.)

But anyway I read the article, mostly. I think I have about seventy percent of it now. I still don't exactly understand difference. But you know, knowledge is like water flowing over rock; it wears down gradually. I wrote down some key words and phrases that I can put into somebody's mouth. I was totally right to read this through, even though it seemed crazy to take two nights for this, which is to say a week for this, because two nights is my whole week, but anyway because there's this whole section about repetition and time, which has everything to do with what I'm going to be writing about, i.e., time travel, i.e., repetition and time...

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I Got This: The Blind Spot

As you know, hardly anybody can look into hyperspace. It's like looking at nothing, and it can make you insane. It's called the Blind Spot, jotoki and puppeteers can't tolerate it at all; trained humans can steer through it using psionic devices; and actually, select kzinti can steer directly through.

What am I talking about. Perhaps I have flipped my lid.

My Blind Spot occurs Monday through Friday from 9:30 AM to 5:00 PM. I can tell you, pretty much exactly, what I'm doing at any other time of day. I mean, there's the side issue of not writing about my job in a public blog. Still, it seems that life happens outside of working hours. Which leaves me, what, when I'm inside. Am I afraid to look.

Just saying.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

I Got This: Saturday and Sunday, also Friday

20090824_peeweeI think I can safely say that this "weekend" thing works. Hooray for me: reinventing the wheel, one wheel at a time!

Highlights from this weekend: tacos de lengua at Taco Burrito Express, second-to-last disk of Veronica Mars S1; making bolognese sauce in a very orderly fashion, chowing down a giant bowl of sliced jicama, mango, and nectarine, roasting beets that I got from K.O. and setting them aside in the refrigerator to be put on a salad with avocado, walnuts, and feta, napping with pit crew in the middle of the afternoon, watching District 9 the whole nine yards with mega popcorn and so-called medium drinks; getting together my Peewee Herman costume with tape and safety pins, apple-walnut pancakes and also the better part of my niece's broccoli-bacon omelet at Bite, a framed portrait of Barack Obama by my nephew, a triangle glazed dish with a funny octopus by my niece, more napping in the middle of the afternoon, leading practice, delivering pasta bolognese to Ripa, getting stuck all over with stickers by little Ripas, chili cheese dog and fries from Choppers, last disk of Veronica Mars S1, OMG CLIFFHANGER, first episode of Veronica Mars S2, chocolate silk popsicle, something called Push about people with psi powers, and so to bed with Man-Kzin XI...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

9.3.9

SUN 23 MON 24 TUE 25 WED 26 THU 27 FRI 28 SAT 29
MORNING
sleep

Zzzz
MORNING
stretch and crunch

OJ n Vitamins!
MORNING
sleep

shoot
MORNING
sleep

sigh
MORNING
sleep

OJ n Vitamins!
MORNING
sleep

shoot
MORNING
 

OJ2O n Vitamins
  Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XII  
Tea
PASTIME
sew costume
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea & AW TLC

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea & AW TLC

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea & AW TLC

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea & AW TLC

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea & Bagel AW

WORK
Office
Muesli n Yog
WORK
Grocery & Cooking
Bite
PASTIME
...
Gr Sal w Couscous
Yogen Fruz

WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Couscous
WORK
Office
Tom Cuke Sal
WORK
Office
Tom Cuke Sal
Jic Mang Nect

WORK
Office
Fr Sal
WORK
Office
AW
WORK
Laundry & Cleaning
OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
 
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
DC & Chex Mix
WORK
Office
Fr Sal
HOBBY
Review & Plan
  Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XI Man-Kzin XII  
Choppers
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
Push
Gr Sal w Beets
PLAY
MOD Skate
Pit Crew Pasta
HOBBY
Write
Chicken Couscous
HOBBY
Write
PB Sw & OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
Pizza
PASTIME
Alien Nation
Veronica Mars
UIC
PASTIME
WCR vs. Charm City
Popsicle
Popcorn

EVENING
Man-Kzin XI
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin XI
Popsicle
popcorn

EVENING
Man-Kzin XI
Tea & Nuts
Popsicle

EVENING
Man-Kzin XI
Popsicle AW
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin XII

Friday, August 21, 2009

Cliff Notes to Going Through the Motions: Tuesday and Wednesday

  • I'm reading the next chapter in John Gardner's The Art of Fiction to get me started writing again.
  • I was depressed earlier in the week, but I'm okay now:
    • due in no small part to reading the aforementioned chapter
    • which so far talks about how writing needs to come to life
    • which the same thing that I need to keep from getting depressed
    • and just thinking about how to make my writing come to life, makes me come back to life
    • which is awesome.
  • I google Gilles Deleuze —a philosopher that I'm attracted to, but don't fully understand.
  • I find an article that I can reasonably comprehend, and basically I get this:
    • he is against the notion of a dual plane of existence, divided between the immanent and the transcendent
      • because notions of transcendence give rise to notions of morality, where Good and Evil have been determined by something "out there"
      • which diminishes one's own involvement in life

      • which makes one feel not so alive

    • instead he is for the notion of a "plane of immanence" where everything is right here
      • which gives rise to notions of ethicality, where good and bad are decided within any given situation
      • which is involving, among other things
      • and connects you more directly to the experience of being alive!
  • So basically Gardner and Deleuze are talking about the same thing at the moment:
    • and it's just the thing that I need to get my writing started
    • and also to get me out of being depressed
    • which is awesome.
  • Oh and, I quoted Buffy. Because I am a geek.

Going Though The Motions: Monday and Thursday

So I skipped Sunday afternoon practice in favor of Helen's going away party & Monday morning I woke up, in somebody else's words, in the depression well.

I don't think it was because I missed ONE practice!

But I had to skate Monday night, you know, forever ago I came up with this theory that was based on the six pages of The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite that I was able to read off Amazon.com, to wit, you repeat patterns that you learn. Also, you learn patterns that you repeat. What's the chicken and what's the egg: you learn what you repeat, you repeat what you learn. And what makes a pattern is, actually, called a "repeat," which makes a pattern the easiest thing to learn and the hardest thing to unlearn.

So, says David Kessler, overeating is this kind of pattern, and more than that, a narrative, a drama, a opera in five acts:

I. There's bagels in the kitchen, but I'm not even going to look at them.
II. Why can't I have a bagel, I work hard!!
III. How about if I don't have my snack this afternoon?
IV. I suck.
V. Ah, you do this every week...

20090820_poppybusty-pushupsI'm not making this up, Act I is playing in my head right now. I need a better opera. Skating is my better opera, is my theory. I don't have really good attendance because I'm a really good person. I mean, I'm an okay person. I've just gotten myself into a really good pattern, I've learned that it works & I'm just working the pattern, or is it the other way around.

At the beginning of last night's practice, Annie said, "I've got some demons to skate off tonight," and at the end of practice, I asked her, "How are your demons?" and she said, "I forgot that I had them."

Also Busty is back, and here are her pushups for last week.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Going Through The Motions: Tuesday and Wednesday

Tuesday afternoon, I actually lose track of time and don't leave the office until 5:15 PM. Don't laugh, I don't work late at all; five fifteen is late for me!

I'm supposed to walk home Tuesdays, I'm going to be late for dinner, why hello bus, thank you I will—

This morning on the bus I was reading John Gardner's The Art of Fiction, speaking of lightning that you can pick up with a fork. I love this man. I love this book. I just started the third chapter. I've had this book since 2007, I read the first two chapters two years ago and stopped there: it was enough. I wrote my first screenplay on the power of those two chapters. I've been saving the rest for a rainy day, pathetic fallacy ahoy! Yesterday morning I was depressed, I hate being woken by a thunderstorm. Today I am better, partly because the weather cleared and partly because last night I had a great skate at Orbit and partly because I had this book to read on the bus. And also partly because I have a lovely boyfriend.

This, by the way, is the beginning of the writing process for me. I mean, not the part about the lovely boyfriend. The book, and actually the skating in some ways. Well, maybe the boyfriend too. My first screenplay was all about him. I mean, it's about vampires. But also him.

20081001_introvertsNatalie Goldberg in Writing Down The Bones says in her first chapter, "Beginner's Mind, Pen and Paper":

When I teach a beginning class... I have to come back to beginner's mind, the first way I thought and felt about writing. In a sense, that beginner's mind is what we must come back to every time we sit down and write. There is no security, no assurance that because we wrote something good two months ago, we will do it again. Actually, every time we begin, we wonder how we ever did it before.
Tell me about it, and there's less than no assurance if it was ten months ago. Almost a year. Excuse me while all the air goes out of the room—

This first chapter in WDTB is about what pens and paper to get, which isn't stupid. I am working on that, too. I will write about pens and paper later. Right now I'm thinking with my beginner's mind about the less-thingy thing, you know, the thing that you do with the pens on the paper. Tell what it is again.

Where was I? Oh, right. On the bus.

So I'm on the bus, on the way home. And I take out the Gardner to read more about the thing that you do with the pens on the paper. After dinner, I take out my notebook and write about it. This chapter is "Interest and Truth," and it reads like a plan for how to start a new piece of fiction. By way of illustration, he starts a new piece of fiction about Helen of Troy. What I'm going to do, as an exercise, is write up the plan in my own words, illustrated with zombies, or maybe time travel (more and more I think about time travel), and voila, I will have started my new piece of fiction.

But then I remember that I wanted to google Gilles Deleuze. I know, random. It isn't, though. I sense that something's there for me in Deleuze. Sophie, the girl (remember, I write romantic comedies, "girl" is a technical term) in INTROVERT, was supposed to be doing her dissertation on Deleuze, and I had to cut all those references because half the time I don't understand what he's saying. What I need, really, is Gilles Deleuze Cliff Notes. Anyway, I found this great article on Gilles Deleuze on the The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

Speaking of tools for writing: Google.

***

I'm supposed to walk home Wednesday, but it's about to thunderstorm and I have to pick up a chicken. I take the bus, again, and copy out Gardner's sentences ("nothing can be made of interest to the reader that was not first of vital concern to the writer," "the writer who denies that human beings have free will is one who can write nothing of interest," and further elaborating on free will as "the capacity to fight for those things they aspire to and avoid those things they fear.") I know from my first read-through that he's going to talk about character, plot, scene, and theme & how to make them come alive.

I think they will come alive if they have a philosophy that informs them. I love philosophy, this is where the on T Logical part of Papillon T Logical comes from. For this I have fixated on Deleuze, like how Samantha Baker thinks she'd give it up to Jake Ryan.

Notably, within his metaphysics he favored a Spinozian concept of a plane of immanence with everything a mode of one substance, and thus on the same level of existence.
You had me at immanence, right? Actually, I got stuck on plane. Wikipedia to the rescue: Plane of immanence. But here's my stab behind the curtain, immanence is that which exists within. As opposed to transcendence, which is that which exists without. "That which" being God, or let us say life. "Plane of immanence" rejects that opposition, there is no within or without. Everything is within: there is no curtain. We are mostly all postmodern now, so perhaps we take this for granted. Though given this existence of Fox News, this is probably wishful thinking on my part.

So Deleuze eschews 1) transcendence, 2) morality, i.e., judgments of Good and Evil determined by a transcendental mind, in favor of ethicality, i.e., evaluations of good and bad determined on a case-by-base basis. Now you may want to jump in and say, "the way I understand morals versus ethics is..." hold on cowboy, there are any number of ways to understand morals versus ethics, let go of those and wrap your mind around these definitions for the purposes of this discussion. What's wrong with morality: to think in terms of absolute Good and Evil weakens our power to choose, to act, to do... in short, to feel alive. In other words, 3) the unexamined life is not worth living. Whereas to think in terms of relative good and bad for any given situation exercises your powers, and that feels good.

Which I think is exactly what Gardner is saying about free will. Only connect!

And also what I was depressed about earlier this week, if you picked up my geeky reference to "Once More With Feeling" from Buffy The Vampire Slayer's awful Season 6 that I'm totally convinced is a depression narrative:

I don't want to be going through the motions
Losing all my drive
I cant even see if this is really me
And I just want to be alive!
This is what I mean when I talk about the fire's gone out, and trying to keep it going. Let alone Buffy Season 6, I don't wonder if this school of thought that Hell isn't so much fire and brimstone as the absence of God wasn't thought up by manic-depressives. Because that's what depression feels like: God has left the building.

I think I might be okay at writing because I know how that feels, being in the dark and being desperate about getting the lights back on—

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Simple 101

Some links to troll around for ideas:

101 Simple Salads for the Season. I love The Minimalist, a.k.a. Mark Bittman. I am all about minimalism. Though I am not about that carrot and eyeball salad, top and center.

Also by Mark Bittman 101 Simple Appetizers in 20 Minutes or Less, which Meg and I looked at for ideas for her 30th birthday party. I wanted to make thirty appetizers, but we settled for seven.

And my favorite food blog, 101 Cookbooks by Heidi Swanson. I made a version of her Cherry Tomato Couscous this week, easier than pasta even & you know I stuck it on a green salad. Some couscous variations coming up, perhaps—

Poppy and Busty's 600 Pushups in 6 Weeks: Week Three

20090817_poppybusty-pushups

Monday, August 17, 2009

Going Through The Motions: Saturday and Sunday, also Friday

Sometimes how you feel about life is that you get to live! And sometimes how you feel is that you have live. As long as you don't start thinking that you don't have to, you know?

If it seems like I'm going through the motions, I am sometimes. Sometimes it's something that I'm trying to learn, they say you have to repeat a move eight hundred times to get it into your brain and beyond. Sometimes the fire's gone out, I'm just keeping it going until it goes back on.

Little of both, this week. Sticking with the plan.

Work

Woke up ungodly early Saturday morning, did stretches, crunches, and pushups, had tea and toast, wrote up the meal plan and shop list, and went back to bed. Woke up next at 10:30 and proceeded with groceries, bed, dishes, laundry, and lunches. Was making black bean and mango salsa when pit crew got home from work. Bills, review and plan while he napped.

I'm relearning the weekend as free time, too. I rode my bike up Milwaukee and picked up:

  • a grey suit jacket ($1.80), a white shirt ($1.20), and a red necktie ($0.40) from Village Thrift for the 9/5 Chicago Outfit halftime show
  • La Jetee from Odd Obsession as homework for my time travel short (or possibly, feature)
  • Protec Street wrist guards and knee pads from Uprise Skate Shop
This is important: feeling like your life includes the random. Also, getting the wrist guards and knee pads finishes off my six-fingered to do list from before my LA trip.

Play

I decided to skip Sunday practice, due to going away party and also due to air and water show traffic. I spent the morning, speaking of random, surgering this I ♥ MJ t-shirt that I got at Kmart. It only turned out okay, so no pics.

In the afternoon I watched La Jetee, which technically counts as Hobby. But who's counting.

Pastime

Friday night, freaky friday karaoke. Saturday night, catching up on Dollhouse extras and True Blood episodes. Sunday night, going away party for Helen and good riddance to John Hughes.

***

I have permission to keep writing this blog until I have at least a treatment written for my zombie feature, i.e., writing this blog instead of writing queries to agencies, which was going slow and nowhere. Though now that I can say that INTROVERT made Scriptapalooza quarterfinals, it might be time to start sending queries again.

The I-Ching says that I have to hold together, but that I'm exhausted. Tell me something that I don't know, like where is a bolt of lightning and where I can stand holding up this fork—

Sunday, August 16, 2009

9.3.8

SUN 16 MON 17 TUE 18 WED 19 THU 20 FRI 21 SAT 22
MORNING
sleep

nah
MORNING
sleep

no
MORNING
pushup

noo
MORNING
pushup

OJ n Vitamins
MORNING
stretch crunch push

sigh
MORNING
sleep

OJ2O n Vitamins
MORNING
sleep

Zzzz
  Man-Kzin IX The Art of Fiction The Art of Fiction ... The Art of Fiction  
Muesli n Yog
PLAY
surger MJ tshirt
Yog n Fru
Green Tea

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Green Tea

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Gr Tea Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
WORK
Office
Muesli n Yog
WORK
Grocery & Cooking
pasta bolognese
Gr Sal w Salmon
PASTIME
La Jetee
Gr Sal w Tuna
Gr Tea & TLC

WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Tuna
Gr Tea & TLC

WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Tuna
Gr Tea & TLC

WORK
Office
Potbelly
WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Couscous
Gr Tea & TLC
Nibbs n Nuts
Bagel :/

WORK
Office
Autumn Wheats
Fr Sal

WORK
Laundry & Cleaning
Salsa n Jicama
PASTIME
Weird Science
Sixteen Candles
Break Cookies
WORK
Office
Nibbs n Nuts
WORK
Office
Jicama
WORK
Office
Gr Tea & TLC
WORK
Office
Coffee & Bagel :(
WORK
Office
TLC
HOBBY
Review & Plan
  walk The Art of Fiction The Art of Fiction ...talk The Art of Fiction  
Pizza
PASTIME
Pretty In Pink
Gr Sal w Couscous
PLAY
MOD Skate
Pit Crew Dinner
Popsicle, nuts

HOBBY
Write
Gr Sal w Chicken
Popsicle
Nuts n Nibbs :/

HOBBY
Write
PB Sw & OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
Tac Bur Exp
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
 
PASTIME
District 9
Popsicle
EVENING
Man-Kzin IX
Popsicle
EVENING
poppydoodle
 
EVENING
GLASSES ON
 
EVENING
sleep
Popsicle
EVENING
sleep
Popsicle
EVENING
GLASSES ON
Popsicle
EVENING
 

Friday, August 14, 2009

What I'm Doing With My Life: Monday and Thursday

Okay so, I didn't skate Monday night because MOD skate was moved to 9:00-11:00 PM and nobody wanted to go that late. Like certain fruits, MOD skates are to be enjoyed in season: this summer we had a nice coalition of Derby Lite ladies, Outfit girls and refs, WCR recruits, and Cyclone/Rainbo speed skaters, in the more workable 8:00-10:00 PM time slot. Which I think we have for three more weeks, until fall and school parties start again & it's back to the late slot, and probably not enough people showing up for that.

Four nights a week skating is probably pushing too much for me, and two nights is not enough. Three nights skating is like that third shot of Bushmills, it makes the fourth seem like a good idea. Though my tolerance for Bushmills is not that high. But anyway, it's hard to regulate. Is my point.

And what happens when I get started writing, will two nights not be enough? Right now, skating is the big bully of the playground. Is skinny little writing going to come up and push it off the jungle gym?

Anyway, last night. Skated. Cleaned my old bones and put them in my sugars, and it was SICK.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

What I'm Doing With My Life: Tuesday and Wednesday

20090824_chalktalk_likeRight off, I didn't write Tuesday night because pit crew's friend was in town & we went to Piece for pizza and beer, and then to Phyllis's Musical Inn for, er, Bushmills. And then ended the evening with writing I like my boyFRIEND on the chalkboard with my toes holding the chalk.

Tomorrow's entry, just so you know, is going to start "I didn't skate Monday night." Because MOD skate was moved to 9:00-11:00 PM, nobody wanted to go that late. More about that tomorrow.

I did write, sort of, on Monday night, and then I wrote like I was serious last night, "sort of" for this blog and "serious" about this next screenplay, which is going to be about zombies. I don't know what effect the screenplay is going to have on the blog. I suspect that I'm going to have to give up blogging, though I suppose I might shift into exquisitely blogging about my screenplay writing process. How can that be more dire than the minutiae of how I'm eating and exercising. If there's a prize for Best Documented Weight Loss in a Five Pound Range, I'd like to win that prize. Except that I wouldn't. Like to. Well also, win. It's not that well-documented. In any case, I do want to refine my writing process and I'd do that the way I refine all my processes, by writing it out, and at the same time, I feel that writing about eating grounds you in the world and fear that writing about writing is going to be like falling down a well. Which is sort of a stupid fear, people have written about writing and I've read them—

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

EAT-FU

I started to write a post about how I need a wife. Or a robot. Or a robot wife. But then I thought I should probably not say "wife" to mean slave, which is what I meant. I don't want to say that I want a slave. Not even a robot slave, but the reason that I wanted a robot slave was for somebody to bake me some nutritious breakfast cookies to pack in my lunch. I'm trying Erin Baker's Breakfast Cookie Minis this week, and they're not half bad. I want something still less sweet, though, with more dried fruit and nuts. I want cookies the way I would bake them, but I don't want to bake them. And I don't want to wash up baking pans.

I got halfway through imagining my Emotionally Autonomous Task Force Unit (EAT-FU) before I had to get stern with myself, because honestly I think it's unethical not to pull back from living a life that was founded on the exploitation of the underprivileged, yes, yours and mine and everyone's we know, you can only do so much about that, but you can recognize that, and you can also be less of a desiring machine and do your own work for what you want, only connect what you want to work for and what you want. Work more if you want more. Want less if you want to work less.

ETA: I gave up the breakfast cookies.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

What I'm Doing With My Life: Saturday and Sunday (Also Friday)

My new weekend thing is I do chores all Saturday and don't try to skate & chill out all Sunday and don't try to write, so that everything including myself is put back together when the week starts. Then skate Monday and Thursday night & write like I'm serious Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Score: Not bad.

Grocery: meal plan and shop list

I think the key was taking advantage of my established pattern of blearily scrolling through my email and facebook messages as I eat breakfast, and slithering from that into writing up the week's meal plan and shop list. If you want to pick up a new habit, it honestly helps to match cut the behavior with an old habit that's already ingrained. It also helps not to always think in words, by the way. Like if I'm trying to nail that tight turn past the radiators of doom, I know I have to drop my knees, pull in my obliques, set my arms, and dig down with my leg. And in my head, that all shorthands to "bee-yoo-ti-ful!" This is similar to something I read about how to do a flying scissor kick, which boiled down to "just think 'Ninja!' " Not that "bee-yoo-ti-ful" and "Ninja!" aren't words; but you get that this is a blog, right? In your head, it's more like a picture of bee-yoo-ti-ful or Ninja! And kids, I'm not sure that I would try that flying scissor kick without, like, actual instructions. But anyway, about the meal plan, I was matching that early morning in front of computer posture. I mean, why not do the meal plan while you're already shaped like that. Not the least because after I get up and moving, it's hard to get me to sit down again.

Writing is interesting, I should do it more often. I had no idea I had that all in my head. More later, probably.

LATER. ALSO, MORE:

It also works to do something that you can do when you're half-awake, because it wakes up you and then you can deal with stuff that you have to be awake to deal with.

Cleaning: make bed and do dishes

I only clean once a week. When I clean, I'm like a one-man scrubbing bubble. Well, I don't scrub. Well also, I am not a man. I start in the back of the apartment, and clean my way out to the front. It starts with making the bed, I take my ability to make my bed by myself as a token of being a strong, independent woman. When I was married, we always made the bed together; before I was married, I had a twin bed. I had to learn how to make a full bed by myself in a bedroom basically the size of the bed & for me it's roughly like a cage match with a bear, where you have to diaper the bear.

I decided to squeeze in my little housekeeping projects along with chores. There's a longer story about... well actually, I guess it's just about housekeeping unbalanced. I used to housekeep unbalanced the way you always have some little project that needs doing, like building shelves or sewing curtains, and then you move for pete's sake and then you have to build new shelves and sew new curtains, it never ends and nothing else even gets started. Now I'm unbalanced the other way, like I have my upstairs neighbor's number programmed into my phone; so when the pipes freeze, I can text her not to do the dishes until they thaw out or else the dirty dishwater backs up in my sink. But if that happens, I stack the dirty dishes on a towel on the floor & go back to my dreamy business, which is not thawing pipes out. But anyway the point is, I never want to be taken over by Other Business to the extent that I think I'm Joe the Plumber; but taking care of my house that I live in is, a little bit, my business, and maybe I've backed away from it a leetle too much. So Saturday is my day for anything housekeeping, like a lead-lined container for whatever radioactive bee I have in my bonnet. Which this Saturday was finally sewing up the bed coverlet that I started two years ago, as reported on my facebook status:

Poppy Munt is cursing and trying to pin together the top edges of these two sheets all laid out on my tiny living room floor, why can't I buy a duvet cover like everybody else, I only started this project two years ago, who sews together three sides of a duvet cover and leaves the top edge for two years, and yes, I slept under it pinned for two years, so the edge was all effed up and I had to iron it out, I hate ironing, never
"again!" it was supposed to say, but I ran out of characters. It turned out, though, and then I finished making the bed, and then I did the dishes —the pipes really only freeze two or three of the very coldest days of the year— and washed two-thirds of the kitchen floor.

Laundry: sort loads

And sorted the laundry.

Cooking: pack lunches

And packed my breakfasts and snacks for the week.

Review & Plan

And did bills, and drew up my next week's plan in my notebook.

***

My favorite part of "Alice's Restaurant" is when Arlo Guthie says, "I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired."

Actually, I am tired. I'm tired all the time. I don't get enough sleep. I can't stand how much time sleep takes up, and probably short myself two hours every night of the week, and it's the worst of both worlds because I don't get enough sleep done or enough work done.

I thought Sunday was supposed my day just to not be doing anything, to fill my frittering requirement. But based on yesterday, I think a lot of Sunday just goes to pay back that sleep debt. I got up at ten for breakfast, then had a nap on the chaise, and then got up to go back to bed. But you know, I felt pretty okay when I got up and got dressed for practice at one, and had a good practice.

Friday night, by the way, we stayed in and watched Hellraiser 3. Saturday night we went to a barbecue. And Sunday night is Choppers night; but since I had a burger at the barbecue, I had a chili cheese dog from Choppers nom nom nom nom nom.

All of this is for what again: so that everything including myself is put together when the week starts. Then skate Monday and Thursday night & write like I'm serious Tuesday and Wednesday night.

Ninja!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

9.3.7

SUN 9 MON 10 TUE 11 WED 12 THU 13 FRI 14 SAT 15
MORNING
sleep

Zzzzz
MORNING
stretch crunch push

Aargh!
MORNING
stretch crunch push

OJ n Vitamins
MORNING
sleep

OJ n Vitamins
MORNING
stretch crunch push

Sonofa...
MORNING
sleep

...bitch
MORNING
stretch crunch push

OJ n Vitamins
  ... Man-Kzin IX Man-Kzin IX Bird by Bird Man-Kzin IX  
Muesli n Yog
PASTIME
...
Yog n Fru
Coffee Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Cookies

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Cookies
Nibbs n Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Cookies

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Bagel

WORK
Office
Tea & Toast
WORK
Grocery & Cooking
PB Toast
PASTIME
...
Blackbird
WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Pasta
Nibbs n Nuts

WORK
Office
Pizza
WORK
Office
Pizza
Nibbs n Nuts

WORK
Office
Lloyd's
Nibbs n Nuts

WORK
Office
Gr Sal w Salmon
WORK
Laundry & Cleaning
OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
 
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
 
HOBBY
Review & Plan
get costume
La Jetee
wrists and knees
  walk walk walk WDTB walk  
Choppers
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
Gr Sal w Salmon
HOBBY
wash wheels
Alla Poppy
Piece
PASTIME
dinner with Sean
Pit Crew Dinner
HOBBY
untitled zombie feature
PB Sw & OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
Gr Salad
PASTIME
Karaoke
Choppers
PASTIME
True Blood
Ice Cream
EVENING
Hellraiser 4
EVENING
Man-Kzin IX
Phyl's Musical Inn
EVENING
GLASSES ON
EVENING
Man-Kzin IX
EVENING
Man-Kzin IX
Dessert
EVENING
 
Dessert
EVENING
 

Friday, August 7, 2009

What I'm Doing With My Life

To recap, this is what I'm doing with my life:

  • work
  • sleep
  • run life (grocery, laundry, etc.)
  • fritter
  • skate
  • write
...such that I will eventually get paid to write and can quit work.

I mean work is not bad, I don't hate my job. As you can see, that's high on the scale for what it is. I may have the one job that could work for what I want. Somehow in a moment of situational genius during my interview, I negotiated for a 36-hour work week & that extra half-hour I get to keep for myself every day just makes the difference. And there are other intangibles, such as pretty much never being interfered with; nobody wastes my time, you can imagine how that rates with me. The upshot is, though 36 hours is still a pretty good chunk of a 168-hour week (actually, 21 percent), it just balances out with the rest of my time & it stays balanced, because it stays contained.

This idea of containment, I think, is probably good for work-leisure balance in general, even if you love your work; but it's totally critical if you're running any kind of work-replacement strategy, like I am. You can pack a lot in, if you're very organized & you can be very organized if you know the size, shape, and number of what you have to pack in. And less so, if you don't know. But you know, I'm living for the day when I can relax and not be so rigorous...

I would like to find out what it means to be "sorting balanced" and "sorting unbalanced," because they sound like good descriptive terms for how you're living at any given time. Because it's not just work that can, shall we say, sort unbalanced. I positively glower at how much time sleep takes up, I probably short myself a couple hours every night & it's the worst of both worlds: I'm not getting enough sleep, and I'm not getting as much work done because I'm tired. I do all right with running my life and frittering, because I do the minimum I need, which I need, and that's all I need.

And then there's skating, and then there's writing. Herein lies the battle. I think I'm probably already skating unbalanced, and thinking alla time about adding to that; writing needs strike back, and soon. Within writing itself, I'm writing unbalanced too much on Facebook notes and, probably, too much on this blog, and not enough time travel short or zombie feature.

And so, I tweak and try a new system:

SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
PASTIME
 
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Grocery & Cooking
PASTIME
 
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Laundry & Cleaning
PLAY
Derby Lite
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
HOBBY
Review & Plan
PASTIME
Choppers
PLAY
MOD Skate
HOBBY
Write
HOBBY
Write
PLAY
Derby Lite
PASTIME
 
PASTIME
 

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Asparagus and Black Bean Pasta Salad alla Zombea

This might be the best of the Zombea pasta salads. This is also my 100th post for alla Poppy!

1 bunch asparagus
1 cup slivered almonds
12 oz whole wheat gemelli
1 can black beans
2-3 shallots
3 Tbsp rice wine vinegar
salt
pepper
1/4 cup olive oil
1 tsp spicy mustard

Heat oven to 450 degrees. Trim, wash, and cut asparagus into bite-size pieces. Thinly slice shallots into slivers. Toss the asparagus, shallots, and slivered almonds on a cookie sheet with just a tiny bit of olive oil and salt. Roast until asparagus is spotted golden brown, stirring around after five minutes and about ten minutes total. (This depends on the thickness of the asparagus, if you're using thicker asparagus it will take longer & you might want to add the almonds halfway through roasting to keep them from burning.)

Bring water to a boil for the pasta, dump in the pasta & cook until al dente, about five minutes or according to package directions. While the pasta is cooking, rinse and drain the black beans. Drain the pasta right over the black beans in the colander, and let it all cool.

Measure the rice wine vinegar into a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper, then whisk in olive oil, then mustard. Stir everything together and serve.

Good on its own, or on a green salad.

Per 1/6 recipe, probably around 350 calories. Per 1/8 recipe on green salad, probably around 300 calories.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Monday, August 3, 2009

(306): She Kept Yelling 'Call Me Bella'

Poppy: I have to work, I have to sleep --just that takes up an unbelievable amount of time-- and it sounds so stupid, but it also takes up time just to run my life, like doing grocery and laundry, and then you know, sometimes you need time just to do nothing. Just to fritter. And then there's skating, and then there's writing.

Poppy: It's my birthday this month, by the way.

Munt: Yeah, you're not getting any younger.

Poppy: That's not what I meant, but--

Munt: There's not enough time for everything.

Poppy: I know what I have to do.

Munt: Say it out loud. SAY IT.

Poppy: I should skate three times a week instead of four.

Munt: Now how hard was that?

Poppy: Very.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

9.3.6

SUN 2 MON 3 TUE 4 WED 5 THU 6 FRI 7 SAT 8
MORNING
sleep

Zzzzz
MORNING
sleep

OJ2O n Vitamins
MORNING
sleep

darn it!
MORNING
sleep

OJ2O n Vitamins
MORNING
sleep

crud
MORNING
sleep

OJ2o n Vitamins
MORNING
sleep

zzzz
  Man-Kzin X talk Scott Pilgrim 1 Scott Pilgrim 5 Scott Pilgrim 4  
 
 
Zzzzz
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Muffin

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee Nibbs Nuts

WORK
Office
Yog n Fru
Coffee & Muffin

WORK
Office
Tea & Toast
WORK
Grocery & Cleaning
Alexi's
 
...
Lloyds
WORK
Office
Gr Sal W Pasta
WORK
Office
Pasta Salad
WORK
Office
Potbelly
WORK
Office
Pasta Salad
WORK
Office
Spagh Bolognese
WORK
Laundry & Cleaning
OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
Pretz n Nuts
WORK
Office
Dr Pepper
WORK
Office
 
WORK
Office
Cupcake
WORK
Office
Nibbs n Nuts
WORK
Office
Muesli n Yog
HOBBY
Review & Plan
meet Man-Kzin X ... Scott Pilgrim 2 Scott Pilgrim 5 Scott Pilgrim 4  
Choppers
PASTIME
Veronica Mars
Gr Sal W Pasta
PLAY
MOD Skate
Pasta Salad
PASTIME
Stoop
Tac Bur Exp
HOBBY
Write
PB Sw & OJ2O
PLAY
Derby Lite
Spagh Bolognese
PASTIME
Hellraiser 3
BBQ
PASTIME
BBQ
EVENING
GLASSES ON
Toast
EVENING
Man-Kzin X
Beer Float
EVENING
Scott Pilgrim 1
EVENING
Scott Pilgrim 3
Fru n Cake
EVENING
party
OJ Float
EVENING
sleep
Dessert
EVENING