You know that you're living the right life when everything suddenly has to do with everything else. Like how Deleuze keeps having to do with Gardner.
Actually, you know that you're living the right life when you can take two nights to read a thirteen-page article on Gilles Deleuze. I'm a terrible reader, I'm terrible at slowing down enough to take in text of any length. I start fast and pick up speed until I can practically feel my eyeballs taking off from the page, like how you can feel your plane has left the ground. I guess what I've been doing these past two evenings, then, is driving my plane to my destination. RrrrrrrRRRrrrrr. Which is not what a plane is for, but whatever—
(I should confess, almost my favorite thing in the world is a metaphor that isn't. Like saying that something is like Rashomon, except that all the stories are the same.)
But anyway I read the article, mostly. I think I have about seventy percent of it now. I still don't exactly understand difference. But you know, knowledge is like water flowing over rock; it wears down gradually. I wrote down some key words and phrases that I can put into somebody's mouth. I was totally right to read this through, even though it seemed crazy to take two nights for this, which is to say a week for this, because two nights is my whole week, but anyway because there's this whole section about repetition and time, which has everything to do with what I'm going to be writing about, i.e., time travel, i.e., repetition and time...
