I just read an interesting thing about Mark Bittman, whom I love: the man who's vegan until dinner. I did not know that. I wonder if I could be, like, the girl who's vegan in her own kitchen, except for yogurt, and except for whatever pit crew cooks on his kitchen night, and who still sometimes has meat and dairy when eating out, but is pretty much over eggs altogether.... What. Not as catchy? I'm liking being a part-time vegan, though. Naturally I would, I always said that if I had a religion it would be Cafeterian. In all things, I like to pick and choose. I like to negotiate complexities: animal rights, environmentalism, my own history of using food to assert control and the dangers of a full-blown eating disorder therein and is this "veganism" a trope of that, my crazy blood sugar doubled with skating being a high-intensity exercise, la la la.
It is not a joke that I need protein, and luckily my body does a pretty good job telling me what it needs & to give credit where credit's due, I do an okay job listening. Anyway I have been ideating about tofu the way a normal person wants cupcakes, and actually I had some oatmeal with dried fruit for breakfast & the dried fruit was too sweet to me. Really, I can't even have dried fruit? But I've been protein unbalanced, I haven't officially given up chicken but haven't been eating eggs or chicken. As it seems illogical to not eat eggs but to boldly go and eat chickens, except maybe as a concrete riposte to which came first, the chicken or the egg.
So I had speed practice the other night, and went to bed starving. And I couldn't sleep, because seriously my butt would not stop itching. I leaped out of bed around midnight and seized upon an apple, which I knew I did not want. Besides I am a horrible princess about apples & it wasn't crisp enough, it was supposed to be for french toast this weekend; I flung it into the trash. I grabbed a failed tofu salad experiment still in the fridge, frantically mushed it up in a bowl with some leftover rice, and practically ate it up with my face in the bowl. I may actually have been insane with hunger. I mean, I felt sanity return after I had eaten. And my butt stopped itching. Which makes me think, was my body trying to consume itself? Because my butt is the meatiest part on me...
