Friday, April 17, 2009

Work/Play: Doo Do Doo Do Doo Do Do Do Doo Do Do

OR MAYBE?

SUN MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT
WORK
Grocery
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Laundry
WORK
Cooking
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Cleaning
PLAY
Derby Lite
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
WORK
Office
PLAY
Derby Lite
PASTIME
Choppers
HOBBY
Write
HOBBY
Write
PASTIME
Lost
PLAY
Derby Lite
HOBBY
Review & Plan
PASTIME

Yes, please!

I'm kind of aware that my life probably seems pretty wide open to a lot of you, perhaps even quaintly laid out like a Disney town or like a living room with wall-to-wall white carpet. Not that my life is that pristine, just that I'm not even trying to fit kids in!

I may try to see things whole, but I do things pretty damn steadily. It's not the only way to do things, obviously not. The other way is to do things whole, and maybe you don't have a grasp on it all; but you get a lot in. My way is to cut out a lot. Trying out for real roller derby. MySpace. Fresh vegetables. Uh, being married. Drawing. Oil painting. Designing t-shirts. Designing websites. Producing theater. Performing monologues. Quilting. The aforementioned kids. Reading, that's bad. Though lately I have been reading the Man-Kzin Wars, which is about space cats.

And I still struggle, you know? I feel like the world's dorkiest juggler mightily focusing all of my attention on, like, two balls. Which is a pretty sad picture, but just imagine what it was like with the fresh vegetables and being married and drawing and oil painting and t-shirt designing and web designing and producing theater and performing monologues and quilting all going on at the same time.

I was going for a time without writing much, for about four months, and skating four times a week. Skating isn't my anti-drug; skating is my drug, full stop. When I'm skating, there's nothing else & it's total bliss. When I reenter the world, everything seems loud and hurty & I just want to go back under. When you're skating four times a week, you're pretty much swimming in it all week like a dolphin. When you're only skating twice a week, you have to get used to the world again every week.

Three's a charm, maybe?

Writing, as long as I'm talking, goes the other way. So I guess my anti-drug is writing. When you're writing six hours a day, five days a week... you get used to it & you learn to breathe that atmosphere. When you're only writing two days a week, it feels like your lungs are filling up with water & then time's up, and you crawl back to the beach and swear you're never going back in.

And the mermaids go doo do doo do doo do do do doo do do...

Damn mermaids are trying to kill me.

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