Craaaaap. First of all, a little foray into perception versus reality: I told a couple people—der schweetums, Maul maybe, and Nina definitely—that shit, I was fine in February, I was firing on all cylinders in February, so WTF March?? Because March has not been fine, see below. But I just now pulled up my February review and it literally starts:
Ughghghgh I mean, it's been a fine month.
And if you read through the review, what really was happening in February was that I was shutting down cylinders one after another. So the game was already afoot in February, this depression didn't just come out of the blue. Out of the blue, haha.
HOME: Cleaning and decorating
1. DO ONE THING for front room big clean :|
I did not do even one thing for this.
But, I'll tell you what I did do: I've been nursing along this pothos plant at work since like 2010, I'm pretty much a black thumb and had to bring it back from the brink of death more than several times, and last summer I was like Oh you have to repot plants. So I did that and that sucker TOOK OFF, six years hanging out at about the same size and then it was like the time-lapse photography in the Plants episode of Life, you could just about SEE it growing o.O. I raised it up on a Garrett's popcorn tin, but still the vines were dragging and crawling onto the kitchen floor. Sujana took a cutting, and I took three cuttings, and all of those are doing great, and then Fran took a cutting, and then I gave him a serious haircut (Porthos the pothos, not Fran) and rooted all of those cuttings. So then I had to pot all of them. Which, I did. The end.
Haha I know, I'm an amazing storyteller. I'm just saying, it's one thing to say "I'm going to make a bunch of little plants from this big plant" and it's another thing to actually make a bunch of little plants from this big plant. You have to:
1. Order moss sticks, and a lot of them, at last count I think there are fourteen baby pothos in circulation at work.
2. Buy pots and potting soil.
2a. Get stranded at Home Depot because there's no way you can carry home all these pots and soil by yourself.
2b. Get rescued!
3. Bring pots and soil to work in three separate trips over a week.
4. Actually take time out of your work day (three separate sessions) to soak the moss sticks, cut coffee filters for the bottom of the pots, fill the pots with dirt, stand the moss sticks in the dirt, plant the cuttings in the dirt and secure them to the moss sticks, and then there's another week of followup anxiously probably overwatering the new cuttings. Two of them are in intensive care on my desk, and the rest have been adopted.
All in all, a supposedly fun thing that that I'll never do again. Or at least I'll never do fourteen of them at a time again.
Anyway, front room big clean didn't start this month because I burned the first Saturday getting the pots, I did tinily tidy up a bit the next Saturday, I was too depressed to get out of bed the next two Saturdays, and the last Saturday of the month I always bump cleaning for paying bills.
And double anyway, I say all this partly 1) to highlight that anything you do takes time and energy—usually more than you think—and hopefully demystify why it seems like I never have enough time or energy to do what I want: I have enough time and I have the amount of energy that I have, I just have too much what I want. Idk, did I really want to repot the plants is a question. And also 2) to highlight that I did get something pretty epic done.
Now might be a good time for my Frustration and Disappointment form.
ETA: Man, this form is great. It needs to be something other than a form, something that I could go back and read over. Like a template, I've had that idea before.
BODY: Healing my body
2a. Continue bodywork, and also reschedule your dentist appointment.
Bodywork is continuing, and I also had a little epiphany about dentist appointments and the like. To wit, I had been scheduling dentist appointments on Saturday because Thursday I have bodywork, and ended up canceling the dentist twice because Saturday, dentist, ugh. And also I haven't been seeing Biggie very much because she's a hairstylist and Saturday is her busy day. I forget why Tuesday wasn't an option for me, I think because I was saving those for taxes. In any case, argh! I want to be studying Tuesday! So then it occurs to me that Thursday isn't reserved for bodywork per se, Thursday is reserved for self care. Dentist is self care. Pink lipstick date with Biggie is self care. So I'm going to take one or two Thursdays a month from bodywork to take care of other stuff that needs taking care of.
Dentist has been rescheduled. Hair appointment with Biggie has been scheduled, I'm growing my hair out and only getting it cut every three months for now.and a little bit of SYSTEMS
2b. Prep taxes to finish, for cereal. Obviously cereal, they're DUE.
2b(1). DO BETTER NEXT YEAR >:(
OMGGG FEENEEESHED. I have already gotten my refund!
PLAY: Studying muscles
3. Start studying muscles.
Still not done, but I'll tell you what I did do—finally wrapped my head around target heart rates. I mean, that took like fifteen minutes of actually applying myself to understanding the math. So, now offering this service...
PASTIME: Writing for my two blogs
4. Start writing up Nom.
I thought I didn't do anything for this, but here's why it's a good thing to write things down. Because I did: 1) reset the template, which I had messed up futzing around with fonts, and also 2) set up an editorial schedule.
State of the Blog
But I also decided, Shark Week on alla Poppy every month is too hot for me to handle. It drops on the 15th, right? And it's like six or seven posts, usually over two weeks because I don't publish on the weekend—so basically two weeks of posts where I'm still tweaking and taking photos at the last minute, it's not over until it's over. Which is basically the end of the month, when I write this monthly review. And then it's the first of the month again, and I only have two weeks to brainstorm and draft the next Shark Week. So it's basically continual writing with no breaks, and I... do not do well without breaks. I mean, I'm not doing particularly well right now. So next month there is no Shark Week, there is only Nom.
Though if you ask me, alternating one month Nom and one month alla Poppy is ...still continual writing. I don't think I have this problem solved.
Going out, seeing people
Another good month for seeing people: Biggie and I had our aforementioned pink lipstick date, we're getting all the basic shades of lipstick that every woman must own! Maybe I will write about that coming up. Other things: me and der schweetums went to the girl's concert at Mount Carmel Church, TS was in town and we had furious bowls at Furious Spoon, Third Sunday Supper Club did brunch at Fat Rice...
Photo by Machel Grizwold.
...followed by Easter Feaster at the Aloha Palace i.e., chez Box and Brawla.
Photo by Machel Grizwold.
Staying in, Netflix and chillSleeping TV
Yes yes, I know there's a fundamental problem with the concept of sleeping TV and that me weighing the finer points of what works for sleeping TV and what doesn't is like rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. But, I'm at the part with nature shows like when I finished devouring Harry Potter and desperately grabbed at the next thing, which happened to be Artemis Fowl... and weird, I didn't realize that books about wizards wouldn't all be good. So like I was pretty happily snoozing to the David Attenborough series and finally ran out of those, and then subbed in Wildest Islands, and weird, not all nature shows are good. Idk if it bears analysis, it's a little bit interesting. Why does it matter, the idea is to sleep through them. But it does weirdly matter, I don't know what I'm going to do for April :/
Let's see I finished what Netflix has of Person of Interest, and after that I had something else playing in the background... but I don't remember what... that tells you something, doesn't it? Oh right right, Crossing Lines. It's actually all right, I love that Jem'Hadar guy (I know that's not his name). I finished that and now I've gone back to Midsomer Murders.
Me and der schweetums still watch DC Legends of Tomorrow when we can get it, and now Daredevil is on Netflix, and we finished that. You want to know what I think about Daredevil? So I watched this BBC special on sex, and there was this lady giving tips on blowjobs. This season of Daredevil was like all the things that you're not supposed to do for blowjobs. Matt Murdoch, PICK SOMETHING AND STICK WITH IT. Actually that goes for me, too. I mean, it's not like Matt Murdoch doesn't have perseverance. It's more that he's trying to persevere at too many things at the same time. Hm.
Also one afternoon when I was super depressed and not getting out of bed, der schweetums climbed into bed with me and we watched Tucker and Dale Vs Evil. Which I think maybe I shouldn't have watched this election year, and the ending, wow, super problematic. Or actually I think problematic means a problem that's hard to figure out, and that wasn't. So just... a problem.
1. DO ONE THING for front room big clean >:|
2a. Continue bodywork, see dentist, see Biggie for hair, and also schedule doctor.
2b. Draft a plan for doing taxes better.
3. Start studying muscles.
4. HERE'S THE PLAN: April OFF, minimal writing only; May, return to Shark Week; June, start Nom :|