Monday, February 8, 2016

Are These Words From The Future

Soo I'm doing this 52 Lists Project, remember? Maybe if I remember to go back to it once a month, I will actually get one list a quarter out.

Winter's list is list your goals and dreams for this year, yeesh. I don't have goals for the year or if I do they're process- not results-oriented, remember? Idk, do I have dreams? Should I have dreams? A dream seems like something that would take longer than a year to come true. Well I'm only doing four lists per year, so it's going to take me thirteen years to finish all fifty-two lists if I don't die first. So maybe I will think about my dreams for the next thirteen years. Let me think for a second about thirteen years. Thirteen years from now will be 2029, I will be 62. Thirteen years ago was 2003, I was 35.

That sort of is more food for thought. What follows is a two-week comedy where I reconstruct separate alternate histories for this post, one where everybody has already died (I know, hilar!) and one where nobody even has cancer yet and then amazingly I remember my LiveJournal password after only two tries! And it's all there: this is the month thirteen years ago when cancer came knocking. Three times! My sister, my sister's dog, and my mom. I forgot about my sister's dog, poor Jazz. In retrospect, why did I not remember this? I know that my sister was diagnosed with cancer when she was 37 and I know that I was two years younger than her. Welp, math is hard. Anyway I was married, I do remember that. I'm not even friends with der schweetums yet because he's friends with some weirdo who hates me for some reason and I'm giving her a wide berth. He is not even a twinkle in my eye. A lot can happen in thirteen years. Is all I'm saying.

1. Well, you've aged okay! There's a teeny scary thing at the beginning of year twelve but don't worry about that, there's really nothing you would have done differently about that. Overall, your health is way better. You don't have insomnia, for one thing. You drink actual water. You eat actual vegetables.

2. Incredibly you've found somebody normal, dare I say nice, actually unbelievably enlightened, to work for.

3. You know how you don't really love this condo because it doesn't feel like home? Uh... good news? A small apartment is a lot less to clean, amirite?

4. Phones are going to stop getting smaller and start getting bigger and nobody's going to talk on them anymore, everybody is going to write to each other on their phones, and send pictures. And videos, even. That sounds like kind of a nightmare because you can't stand pictures of yourself, but let me tell you something: you're really quite pretty. It kind of blows my mind that you don't see this, but maybe it's for the best.

5. Don't laugh, but you're going to become a legit athlete. Not like the world's greatest athlete, but still. It has to do with when you learned to ice skate, you know how you could just skate. It's going to be more than that and the parts that are more than just skating are going to be really hard for you, but you're definitely kind of a jock.

6. Here's the great news, you figure out what you want to do with your life! People actually pay you to think up workouts for them, and you get to hang out with them while they work out!

7. Oh hey, it's not too late to start a blog, blogs are still a thing in 2016. You're not internet famous like Flux is with Fluxblog, but you are a legit blogger in the sense of writers write. You blog. I know you're thinking I'm 48 and I blog?

8. There's this whole group of friends that you haven't met yet, but you will because you're going to start and finish playing roller derby. I know, what? Anyway after you're finished with that, you're still going to have all these friends. Who you'll still be able to talk to because of Facebook. Facebook is like LiveJournal, but bigger.

9. There's going to be a tiny burst of going out and drinking and dancing after your, uh, divorce, but then you're going to go back to mostly staying at home and watching Netflix. Though Netflix will be totally different, no more getting DVDs in the mail. Spoilers but, movies get beamed straight to your computer.

10. I know, why would you ever leave the house. It's still a challenge. Idk—this means I don't know— if you're ever going to figure out the going out and socializing thing, to be honest. You always did prefer dinner parties to parties, but the dancing was fun.

So, maybe this will help. Maybe if I look at how different my life is now than thirteen years ago, then I can imagine how different it can be thirteen years from now? Because honestly I have been so focused on just getting through the past thirteen years, eyes on the ground! Maybe I could look up ::trip::