Friday, May 11, 2012

16 Ways to Master Your Derby-Life Balance
 turn it off!

I'm glad I'm reading all this about being an entrepreneur. Because being a trainer probably means being an entrepreneur, right? Is that not what an entrepreneur is? Did all the real entrepreneurs curl up their lips at the smallness of what I have in mind? I have towel folding experience, I'm okay with folding towels at a gym while I figure it out.

For now though, I'm just going to make fun of smartphones.

5. Turn It Off!

“Our smartphones are a part of our everyday lives, but as an entrepreneur, we literally sleep with it tucked under our pillow. Simply turn off the phone and be amazed at how much you can get done—you can even fit in a work out. You have to know when to separate work and life, which starts with shutting off from everything to take time for yourself. That’s why there’s a thing called voicemail!” -Ashley Bodi, Business Beware

A thing that I've actually had in mind has been that when I'm working as a trainer, I probably will have to get 1) a smartphone and 2) a car. As if I'm not addicted enough to the internet just with my giant laptop. It's a saving grace that I can't carry it around with me. On, you know, my bike. I mean, I could carry my laptop on my bike in my backpack. But I wouldn't, like, laptop and bike like people text and drive.

Okay, I'm not going to make fun of smartphones. I'm going to make fun of Facebook. Smartphones are implicated, though.

The thing where all your statuses are about derby? Turn it OFF sometimes, seriously.

Okay, I'm not saying I haven't done it. A bunch of us were eating tacos talking about this, we've all done it. Because derby is so much about identity, for one thing, it takes up so much of your time. Right there, it probably is mostly what you have to talk about. Then there's the whole business angle, you're trying to promote the sport and your league and create buzz and sell tickets, and so you talk it up. And organizational dynamics are involved, at any given time there are rioters trying to get drafted to home teams and home team skaters trying to get onto travel teams and everybody trying to get rostered and you want people to know how hard you're working out. And you probably did this more when you first started derby, just because when you start derby it's like having a building fall on you and you would facebook that shit. Because we're talking about balance here, right? And balance is like how getting 30% of your calories from fat doesn't mean that every piece of food that you put in your mouth has to be 30% fat, but like you can eat ice cream if earlier in the day you had some salad. Or vice versa. So yeah, you start derby and, woah, it's like an elephant just got on your boat with a bunch of suitcases, and of course you're going to tweet DUDES THERE IS THIS ELEPHANT WITH SUITCASES TIPPING THE BOAT. Though I personally don't tweet, I have never tweeted. Are you kidding, circumspice. I can't even say hello in less than 140 characters. So yeah, in the beginning, okay.

But now we're trying to get balanced, right? I'm not saying STFU, I'm just saying, man, look at a leaf once in a while. It doesn't have to be a leaf, just not the elephant or his suitcases. I guess I basically am saying let's not talk about the elephant in the room all the time. Let's be cool about the elephant: he's all moved in, he's just a big dude who lives here. He's cool to hang out with, but you can still do some of your own thing.

All I'm talking about, really, is swinging the pendulum and how you create your identity on things like Facebook or, you know, real live conversation, and how you can indeed master your derby-life balance therein. What this reminds me of is this editor I heard speak at the writers conference I used to troll for guys at begging us young writers to please stop writing stories about writers. We were offended, we had always been told write what you know. Now I know what she meant was, Get older and know more. Or in other words, Be more interesting.