In addition to being hilarious, I have been an ACE-certified Personal Trainer since April 2012 and was a skating and group fitness instructor with Derby Lite and then the Windy City Rollers for seven years. I was also WCR's Head of Trainers for three-plus seasons, planning the practice schedule for three travel teams, four home teams, a farm team, and (my pride and joy) skating and non-skating officials.

Pretty much I sell personal training services in six-week packages, $420 for six one-hour weekly personal training sessions and here's how that works:

  • I meet with you once a week, for six weeks. So first of all, I'm your non-moving target for your weekly appointment with your body. Just keeping that appointment triggers a little reward in your brain, and just that little reward can get you started and keep you going. But also, I'm fun to hang out with and, well also, you paid for this. So we just hang out, having fun together, until one day you come in and say, "I got this FitBit" or "I started tracking my food on MyFitnessPal" and then you've made my day, because that's how it works.
    • six weeks works because it keeps you committed long enough for you to get traction, and also six weeks is about when you will need your workout to be freshened up. Which here I am to do that for you, and hopefully sign you up for another six weeks.
    • weekly works because it keeps your appointments close enough for you to get traction with this appointment habit and also with whatever we're doing in your appointment.
  • What we do in your appointment, well, that's where the one-on-one comes in. I work with you where you're at. I guess people typically think they need a trainer to kick their ass, but I've found that people are a little too eager to get their asses kicked and that's not really what they need my help with. A lot of what I help people with is to say, whoaa there. Before you do those three hundred squats that you seem to want to do, how about we fix that squat? And while we're in there, how about we fix that idea about doing three hundred squats? Like, how about twenty?
  • That said, I have a teeny track record as an accidental asskicker.

I train out of Goose Island Crossfit on Kingsbury off North Avenue!

Inquire within at allapoppy (at) gmail (dot) com.